Underberg

A very brief scrap of a very hungry city.

Can't... you hear them?

Click... Click clack...The stones...

Click click clacking in the dark... Teeth. Solid and grey.

Can't you feel them?

 

Buzz Buzz buzzing around you? Ancient mortar ground to dust as they click click clack in the dark.

The room is quite now, I have but a moment to write. Here, deep within the bowels of the hidden city. I think this a store-room, but the multitude of chains and unidentifiable stains on the ground make me nervous to even guess at what they could've stored here. The walls, the tunnels... Seem to breath. I know I should be heading East, towards the labyrinth cities mouth, but the further I go the more lost I seem to be. 

Every right a left. Every tunnel up, slopes invariably down. Nothing makes sense anymore. 

Here, here at least the stones seem quieter. No more of those infernal champing, clamping stones. 

I feel it you know? The damned thing. The thing that removed their bodies. 

I couldn't believe it at first, every house empty. Every store closed. Not a scrap of cloth, not a single bone. 

Nothing to say that they ever were. If they fled or if it did... Things to them I could not say, but I feel it, out there, far, far below. 

The dust crackles and air hums with black magic. The oldest I've ever felt. 

It feels me too I'm sure. 

Grinding its granite teeth... 

Patiently waiting for me. 

Only a matter of time now.

Can't you feel it?

Reviews

[SleeplessVolcano]

I liked the first and last lines, resembling poetry more than a story. I like the middle part too, but it felt as if too many ideas were squeezed into a too short a piece of writing.....I think this could easily develop into a novel......

Who is this character?
What is his quest.....?
What does he want to achieve?

Just a few thoughts....:)

[Jason Damstra]

Hey SV, first off, thank you so much for the feedback :D

In truth I don't really have any answers for all of those questions, as I'm sure you've seen (if you have indeed checked out any of my other pieces) I often have fleeting ideas and faint notions for what could be really good books but, like the distractable whatsit that I am, I lack the motivation to actually take them somewhere. Often-times I'll start and then loose interest, there are just so many amazing ideas out there!
I like to think that one day I'll get back to them all and weave a wonderfully complex narrative all within one major fantasy setting. But we shall see.

To try and answer your question I envisioned this unknown chap to be some form of errant merchant or thief out to profit from a long dead mage city, plundering its hidden vaults to acquire valuable artifacts, ignoring the rumors of some sinister goings on, and finding himself greatly outmatched by the eldritch force that inhabits the depths.

Thanks once more for the commentary and keep on spreading the good vibes :D

[SleeplessVolcano]

You're welcome. I am also embarking on the journey of penning a few stories, and sadly, most people I encounter here think writing is just 100% fun, and something we fit in in between dinner and bed-time...;P......until writing becomes an experience close to actual dying, the birth of something truly spectacular will never happen...:) So I wish you agonizing writing success....:)