When the eyes cannot see, the brain fills in the bitter unknown.
Imagination runs freely yet within a darkened cage.
He, who does not know me, knows me all so well.
He grasps my lungs inside his hands,
With complete control he forces me
to see so much, yet to see emptiness.
He haunts me,
Watching every moment within the shadows
within the mirrors,
within others.
He is out of reach therefore I cannot fight him.
I am in his doll house, just another toy for play.
He loves to watch me scream, I can hear the laughter in my dreams.
I’ve asked for him to leave,
but he refuses and I doubt he ever will perish from life.
He is always leering, always near.
I have a child’s fear of the Darkness,
but it isn’t Dark himself I am terrified of,
It is the unknown and the possibilities it could bare.
Hello, this is my first poem I have posted here. I have been writing poems similar to this one for a while now and decided to share some.
I hope you enjoy and I'd love some feed back.
My Review
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The darkness is just a shadow of the day after all...the same item in place is there --- the next morning...yet its what the mind perceives...as something else...an entity of sort...yet its existence is no different than the light the pierces the darkness...makes it go away --- rather fast...a fear of the dark...I believe we've all been there...as for the structure and layout of this...I'd nip and tuck it a bit:
When the eyes cannot see,
the brain fills in
the bitter unknown.
Imagination runs freely
yet within a darkened cage.
He, who does not know me,
knows me all so well.
He grasps my lungs
inside his hands,
With complete control
he forces me
to see so much,
yet to see emptiness.
He haunts me,
Watching every moment
within the shadows,
within the mirrors,
within others.
He is out of reach
therefore I cannot fight him.
I am in his doll house,
just another toy for play.
He loves to watch me scream,
I can hear the laughter
in my dreams.
I’ve asked for him to leave,
but he refuses
and I doubt he ever will
perish from life.
He is always leering,
always near.
I have a child’s fear
of the Darkness,
but it isn’t Dark himself
I am terrified of,
It is the unknown
and the possibilities it could bare.
its just a suggestion to give a break in pace and flow...IMPO --- its your work...do what makes you feel comfortable...as I say to other writers here...what we suggest are just a guide to better find yourself as a writer...
The darkness is just a shadow of the day after all...the same item in place is there --- the next morning...yet its what the mind perceives...as something else...an entity of sort...yet its existence is no different than the light the pierces the darkness...makes it go away --- rather fast...a fear of the dark...I believe we've all been there...as for the structure and layout of this...I'd nip and tuck it a bit:
When the eyes cannot see,
the brain fills in
the bitter unknown.
Imagination runs freely
yet within a darkened cage.
He, who does not know me,
knows me all so well.
He grasps my lungs
inside his hands,
With complete control
he forces me
to see so much,
yet to see emptiness.
He haunts me,
Watching every moment
within the shadows,
within the mirrors,
within others.
He is out of reach
therefore I cannot fight him.
I am in his doll house,
just another toy for play.
He loves to watch me scream,
I can hear the laughter
in my dreams.
I’ve asked for him to leave,
but he refuses
and I doubt he ever will
perish from life.
He is always leering,
always near.
I have a child’s fear
of the Darkness,
but it isn’t Dark himself
I am terrified of,
It is the unknown
and the possibilities it could bare.
its just a suggestion to give a break in pace and flow...IMPO --- its your work...do what makes you feel comfortable...as I say to other writers here...what we suggest are just a guide to better find yourself as a writer...