Anerexia

“My name is Anita and um, I’m anorexic.” I said laying my eyes on the floor self-consciously. My group therapist looked at me and said in a soft voice “And what events led you to become Anorexic Anita?”
“Well, it started two years ago…”

~2 Years Ago~
There was knocking at my door.  
I sighed and said, “Leave me alone Mum!” in a tear filled voice.   
But as always, she had opened it anyways. She clicked her tongue, sat on my bed and brushed my hair behind my ear.
“Sweet- heart, if your friends are going to mock you, just because you’re not as skinny as them, then well…” she said.
 I cut her off and began screaming at her.
“MUM! Just Get out and stay out for once! I don’t need one of our “talks” they don’t work, they make me feel worse! Just leave me alone!”
I didn’t mean to burst out at her like that.  My mood had been all over the place lately. At school, I had run into trouble with my friends and class mates. I knew I had gained a bit of weight, I saw it every day in the mirror when I got dressed and went for showers, I saw my fat doughy skin over flowing out of my shirts and pants. It was disgusting and I hated it. I had been under heaps of stress, and when I’m stressed, I eat. I used to be quite skinny, so skinny in fact all of the boys asked me out and complimented me, but ever since I had gained, all of the boys frowned at me and talked to my skinner and prettier friends. Lately at school, my friends had been taunting me and said that if I didn’t lose lots of weight they wouldn’t be my friend anymore, which meant I wouldn’t be allowed to sit at The Fountain and park in the school parking lot, all of my popular girl advantages would have been taken away from me, as well as my friends. I asked them for the best advice on how to lose weight quickly. My closer friend Abby suggested Pledging, where you eat but after wards you make yourself vomit it all back up. Gabby, Abby’s twin sister suggest that starvation was a lot quicker, so I decided to go with Starvation, they’re my best friends, they wouldn’t steer me wrong.

It took me a week of starvation, but I and everyone else began to notice changes. I had dropped five dress sizes. I went from a size 12 to a 7. It made me so happy, but my friends still thought it was too fat, and then I began noticing they were right, I was still too fat. I then started not drinking water either, it’d bloat me!

Two weeks of starvation and not drinking lots of water had gone by and I started feeling really sick, but my friends just insisted that it was normal. I started feeling really dizzy when I went to stand up and sit down, and my bones were so weak and brittle that sometimes I couldn’t even get out of bed. But, again my much skinner friends had insisted that it was part of the Starvation weight loss program. I then went from a size 7 to a 3. I didn’t know how those models did it. They looked so beautiful and dominant, and I looked so blah. My ribs stuck out and I went from a C cup to an A cup in bra size. My cheek bones stuck out and my stomach hurt all the time, I looked so pale and frail that people would’ve thought that I was the un-dead walking. That was when my mother took me to a doctor. She at first thought I was doing it for attention, but I did it to impress my friends and for all the boys to like me again. On Tuesday the 12^th of April, my mum took me to our GP.  He said that I had anorexia. I had no idea what that was but he explained to me that it was a disease that could kill me if I continued to starve myself. He said that he’d like to keep me in hospital for a while, just till I got to a healthy weight again.   It took a lot of force feedings from my doctors and nurses but I was up to a healthy 40 kilos. But I didn’t feel healthy. I felt fat. I hated looking at myself in the mirror, my whale blubber, it was disgusting. I could hear my friends taunts now “Fatty, whale, rocko.” So many insults they can think of. I hated my new weight. I had to lose it all before I got back to school.

Sadly I did not complete my goal of getting back to a size 3 before getting back to school and as predicted my friends mocked me and said they’d bash me if I didn’t get to a size zero. I was totally OK with that, I’ve always wanted to be a size zero; I’d be skinner than Heidi Klum! I started starving myself again and refused to drink water. I started getting weaker and weaker but I was used to it now because I had starved myself before. I got up to a size 2 but my mum started noticing again as well as everyone else and chucked me back in hospital. How could she do this to me? How could she deprive me of my ability to lose lots of weight and make my friends like me again? Why did she not understand the seriousness of this, I mean this is my social life at stake! I hated her for making me fat again.

 This time I was in the hospital for half a year. I missed all the cool parties that I could have gone to and shown off my new skinniness, I missed all of my friend’s birthday parties, the beach parties, the Halloween parties, Christmas parties and Year Eleven Formal. But on top of that, none of my friends came to visit me, not once. No texts for my birthday or for Christmas, not even ‘Get well soon’ texts. My friends were the reason I was there, heck they weren’t even friends! They were bullies; they bullied me into becoming anorexic. After realising this and seeing my friends for who they truly were the hard way, I spiralled slowly into depression. I stopped eating again, but this time not because my friends told me to, but because I was so sad I couldn’t be bothered to eat.

A year later I was healthy again. I was 17 and 30 Kilos, which is quite good. It’s better than the 20 kilos I was when I was 15. I finished Year 12, but didn’t remain with the same friends. I met a nice group of girls who liked me for my personality and not because I was skinny or fat.  They helped me through most of the obstacles that came my way and I did the same for them. I also met my closest friend Katie’s 18 year old brother Damien. We then got together after checking with Katie first but sadly broke up because of my ex friend Gabby. But I dealt with it. I had been in and out of hospital occasionally, but other than that I was overcoming my addiction. I just wish I didn’t let my old friends get me so self-conscious. If it wasn’t for them, I may have been able to go to Year Eleven Formal and have fun at parties and to be able to have Christmas with my family. But in a way I have to thank them. If it wasn’t for their crappy friendship I would have never found my new, better and supportive friends. I just wish I could have learnt my lesson in a less painful and hard way. 

 

Reviews

[Haley Harrigan]

Such an amazing story, dear! But I have to ask: Is this more than just Fiction? Is this story really something that happened to you? If so, I'm deeply sorry. I can also relate very well with this story. Though, I was never "popular", I still had friends and peers who taunted and teased me for not being skinny. It had happened in about 6th grade. I'm now a Sophomore in high school, and my new friends are super amazing. As well as the boyfriend I have now, because he doesn't want me for sex and isn't using me to get a girl jealous or anything stupid like that. I honestly enjoyed this story, and I felt as if I were there. I felt as if I were Anita.

[Symphonic_Sunflowers]

Thankyou! I'm so glad that you liked it! But im sorry that something like that happened to you! But am so happy youre in a good place now! :3

however, this story, i haven't experienced myself - ive never had anorexia but i have fallen victim to peer pressure as well as mild anxiety and depression! But im so glad you enjoyed it and felt that you could share a snippet of your personal life with me!

Much love, Chloe

[Kasey Miriam]

Very well written points. Great little story!

[Symphonic_Sunflowers]

Thankyou! :)

[Jennie Baron]

You make a good point; this does not feel like fiction and maybe has more of an impact because of that. I was curious whether it was "real."

[Symphonic_Sunflowers]

Oh, no its not. It was just an assignment that I had to write a few years ago

[Nic Archer]

First, I must say it's a powerful piece. And I agree with "M.C.Lyle," it should be read by a younger audience. I'm sure there are many kids who could take a lot from it. The problem is, I didn't get a sense that I was reading fiction (perhaps that's by design?). I felt like I was reading a rant.
That could be the kind of thing you post, I'm not sure. If it is, that's great - post what you like.
But if it isn't - and this was meant as fiction - I suggest you hide your "heart" a little better.

[Symphonic_Sunflowers]

Thankyou, Brian. It is fiction, but was designed to seem like a personal rant. Because as i see it, if it seems personal, it gets the message across alot easier and to have that message more impacting. That's my opinion though.
Because, take depression for example, if it seems as though it was an experience that either, i the author has experienced it, or perhaps someone close to the author its alot more "holy s**t, maybe i should take note for future or current reference.

But thankyou so much for the review, Brian :)

[M.E.Lyle]

Peer pressure is such a powerful thing. It forces people, especially younger people, into doing things that will make them popular. This story should be read by all kids 14 and up. True friends accept you for who you are.
OK, now to the grammatical part. A few miscues, here and there. The last sentence; learnt should be learned. In fact, you could completely rewrite the sentence by getting rid of a few things. You could say, I wish I had learned my lesson in a less painful manner. There are a few other fixes you can do, but over all, I thought this was a fine piece, with a fine message.
I'm Not a Grammar Expert.
Hey...be yourself.

[Symphonic_Sunflowers]

Haha thanks! Yes, i too am not grammar expert (could you tell) but thankyou so much for the review!

[M.E.Lyle]

Thank you, and good luck with your future.