Chapter 1: A Different Sort of Kid

The readers are introduced to the main character: 16 year old Jake Miller.

Chapter 1: A Different Sort of Kid

Sixteen Year old Jake Miller was a different sort of kid. Most people knew him as the “funny guy”, the kind of person that could make a joke in a split second without even thinking. He was a good kid, nice to everyone he met whether they were seen a “cool” or not. In fact, it was common knowledge that Jake’s best friend was the biggest nerd in High school.
He wasn’t the best looking kid in school, and he knew it too. From the freckles on his face, to his skinny limbs, nothing about Jake resembled someone deserving of the title handsome. But Jake didn’t care what people thought of him. He figured that the only opinion that mattered was his own.
A typical day for Jake had always been somewhat of a fixed routine. Wake up, take a shower, get dressed, eat, go to school, come home, and repeat. Sure there was the occasional fight with dad about whose turn it was to use the only TV in the house, but that was never anything to go and write a book about. Today was different though, much different, and from the moment Jake got home from school he knew something was wrong. He noticed that both of his parents were crowded around the TV. That was strange because his mom only ever watched TV for the news, which didn't start until later on in the day.
“What’s going on?” asked Jake as he dropped his book bag next to the door like he always did.
“Come over here and see for yourself” said Jakes dad, who dared not to turn from the TV lest he miss something important.
As Jake moved closer a sense of fear swept over him. He knew that whatever he was about to see was going to be bad, he just didn't know how bad. When he saw what was on the screen, he couldn't quite understand what was going on. A swat team was trying to hold back a crowd near the local hospital building in his home state of Georgia. The news reporter kept saying something about a virus called MT90.
“Dad what’s going on, what is MT90?” said Jake with a worried yet curious tone which seemed to add to the ever growing tension in the room.
“It’s that new virus that’s been going around, the one that’s been giving younger people Alzheimer’s. They were giving out the vaccine at the hospital, but they ran out. That’s when the riots started breaking out. Me and your mom called the nearest hospital and they said that they’ve got some more of the vaccine. We’ve just been waiting for you to get home so we could all go together. ”
Jake could sense that there was more his parents weren’t telling him but he dismissed it, telling himself that it didn’t matter. Whatever they were hiding he would find out soon enough anyway so why bother worrying about it. However, what his mother said next would arouse Jake’s suspicions even more.
“Did you pack enough food and drinks in the car Ron?” said Jake’s mother in a questioning tone.
“Yeah honey I got ‘em don’t worry.”
Jake tried to reconcile with his suspicions, telling himself that perhaps they were bringing snacks in case they got stuck in traffic. Yes that must be it, Jake thought to himself. That simply had to be the reason why.
And with that, the family of three set off in their small four seater car for the hospital, clinging to a hope that did not exist. A hope that would be crushed, just miles up the road.

Author's Note

The tabs that I used in the original writing did not copy over so I apologize for that.

Reviews

[Konnie]

DEFINITELY like this better. It has a lot more tension now that we're not sure what's happening. Love that the virus is said to have understandable consequences (Alziemers) instead of zombification. The parents already have a lot more character I think just because of how they're trying to protect Jake. Good work, you take critiques well. :) Hope you can give my writing a look?

[Konnie]

Really nice so far. So many horror stories rely on making the protagonist broken and lonely and cliche, so kudos for making Jake a normal guy. One thing though I'd try to change: you introduce the virus awfully quick with civilians knowing all about it. 1) It seems unlikely government would tell all so quickly. 2) Dad's explanation is too much exposition via dialogue. Try t show not tell. Otherwise, I'm definitely interested. :)

[Xivtorc]

Very good job, and creative title for the virus. I always worried about if a zombie apocalypse happened would I be one of those people who contracted the disease by eating, breathing contaminated things. I am interested in this so please write more!

[Sandr]

Your story definitely kept me interested. There are a few parts that I think could be polished, but overall good job! Please continue to write this!