Track 109

Rough hue, the heel and toe.

Washed out in the heat,

still living the deadbeat

up in Skid Row.

Amongst the world weariness

lost wives, lost kids, lost hopes.

Cheap Muscadet spills

with smoke. Dirt, dust and dope.

Still there's one crazy beat bum

not undone, by years gone by;

out with the birdsong

he can still fly.

A mad student Brakeman

runs for the lot, 

makes six hundred a month

saves every last dot.

Reviews

[Friday]

You come on with a strong "beat" here. Seems all real to me. Very good! BTW...why not Suede? :)

[Centurion]

Your poetry has a great edge to it. Very pithy and down to Earth. Convincing stuff, as though you were there yourself (you might have been - if so well recalled).

[Lonesome Traveler]

Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate it! Not there myself, but my imagination likes to park itself in different places sometimes. :)

[Justin]

Very cool piece! You have a very unique flow, it seems very "old-school" to me, and I mean that in the best way possible! Haha. Fantastic.

[Lonesome Traveler]

Why thank you!

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarri..]

Yeah... no matter what hope is always there
nice style

[Lonesome Traveler]

Thanks very much! Exactly, you find hope in the most unexpected of places.

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-]

thank you for writing
Please feel free to pass by
I knock the same subject sometimes

[Anita Harris]

This is very nice. I like your style of writing!

[Lonesome Traveler]

Thank you (: I wrote this quickly, so it might be a bit too like my random jottings and not coherent enough.

[Anita Harris]

But that's what's so great about it! It's rushed, and kinda vague, like the lifestyle of the people [person] in the poem. It fits the theme, I think.

[Lonesome Traveler]

Yeah, I've been reading alot of Jack Kerouac recently, so thats the inspiration. And I had to cut a few lines off the end; my writing has to be kept in check otherwise it goes waffling on in a very un-poetic way! So there is going to be a second part at some point.

[Anita Harris]

Really? I just got into some of Jack's work. Then I realized that what I was starting was actually a movie (On the Road). Debating whether I should watch that or not...
Hey, it happens to the best of us! lol
Yeah, can't wait to read that. :)

[Lonesome Traveler]

I've read On the Road several times now, but can't yet bring myself to watch the film! Even if they did a good job, it's impossible to condense such an epic book down into two and a half hours! Especially since the book is not so much plot centred more a huge journey that focuses on a huge number of individuals. :)

[Anita Harris]

That's absolutely the case with most books that get made into movies. Sometimes the movie makes the book look bad when that's not the case. so I stray away from most book-based movies.

[Lonesome Traveler]

Ahhh I know! Its so rare for them to be successful. So people should really just read more :D

[Anita Harris]

Aw, If only! :