Notes on the headstone.

The long and the short of it is, gentlemen, that life six feet under seems to be more interesting than the one up here. It took me too much time before I consented to recognize that truth. I stood up asking myself how people could find enjoyment here and why they are so emotionally attached to life. I was thinking. You wonder why I said that the underground life is much more exciting than the one here. It is mainly because I saw the gates of it widely open for young and good people. But do you know , gentlemen, why am I always painting a grim picture in my writings? I'm enjoying a riotous living. I feel it swarming in me. I'm sick you say. Yes and I love my sickness. It's a beauty. Now let me ask you a question that torments my mind, what kind of life do you expect or wish to live?... Speechless... And I was thinking. At this stage, my dear gentlemen, you are thinking that I'm trying to be witty. I don't care if you are. I'm not. Before going any further, I'm not drawing any intricate lines by my writing. Keep on reading, but first let me take a breath.

 

I said my sickness is a beauty. I lied. Or maybe I didn't lie at all. It doesn't matter if I did or not. Violent mood swings, fever of oscillations and emotional fluctuations are what people see when they interact with me. Why am I telling you this? It's mainly because... ech! No reason. However, I'll explain my issues. Actually, I have taken my pen to get to the bottom of it.  So sit down, gentlemen, and listen.

 

I'm not suffering from hypergraphia. Or am I? If I'm not, then I wish I were. I have the desire but I don't write too much. Illness is, gentlemen,  sometimes, if not all the time, beneficent. Healthy people will not experience what I'm enjoying. No! There will be no bargain, no deal and no arrangement so to deprive me from my illness. Healthy people did almost nothing to humanity. Sturdy people are happy, but fool at the same time. Sickness allows a person to go beyond LA NORME. BERNIQUE, most of you, gentlemen, think that I'm trying to draw a mawkish picture by talking about my sickness. I'm just talking about it, that's all. People like to talk about their sufferings. I make no exception. Here is another fact about my illness, gentlemen, I have respect for all the persons I meet. Once the idea... the idea that the person in front of me will, at night, fall into the arms of a lady, once this idea comes to my mind something changes in my perception of this person. And I was thinking. I refuse to be treated for my disease. Call it psychiatric abnormality. But my illness gives me more than what your clean bill of health gave to you. It gives me divine sensations. Will it last with me till I hit the dust?  You, dear gentlemen, do not live. All you do, is managing to keep your soul and body together. If I were to live like most of you, then I wouldn't ask for a new lease of life. Pranks you are telling yourself. You have the right to say that. But then why am I worrying myself sick with such antics ? I'm just under the weather.

 

And I was thinking. I ask myself more than one hundred questions a day. But most of you prefer not to ask questions, you cop out by ducking the issues raised by those questions. You do not dare to look for answers. You know why? Because you are afraid to be confused. I envy you. Ech... Back to my sickness. I'm, by no means, trying to entertain you, gentlemen. You think that I do. I don't. I said, only fools and stupid people (Healthy people in other words) are full of vim and vigour. That's true. If you dare to ask too many questions, you will be racked with pain. No! The sickness I'm talking about is not primarily physical. It can be mental. And... there is enjoyment within it. Enjoyment you  won't find anywhere else. I talked about sensations. I cannot describe them, they are surpassing the normal bounds of comprehension. For those sensations, I would fight day and night, but what follows them is killing me. Enough.

And I was thinking. I'm pushing thirty now. Thirty is a whole lifetime, gentlemen. I think I must stop here. I'm rambling on may be. I believe I made a mistake writing this. 

Reviews

[Robot House]

It would add an interesting angle if you speculated upon solutions instead of leaving it all unanswered, even if the solutions are ineffective. I enjoy the ending, but it would be better if it had more of a conclusion instead of just petering off.

[Amekraz]

Thanks for the review. May be there is no proper ending for this I guess. Sometimes, I ran out of appropriate words...