Loving is Lost

 

Gentle as a breeze

Filling the boughs

With thoughts of laughter.

This one pair

True as time and

Soft as rivers flow

 

Though summer’s

Flowers collapse

Time slows

The dreaded moment

Leaving

 

Loving is lost

As rose petals

Take their last fall

The darkness of ending

Looms chillingly overhead

 

Endlessly time flows

Moving

Eddying through the water

Ending up

Where once

 It had started

 

As it stops

So too does it begin

Summer blooms

Rose petals open up

Receiving the love

Once again

Of the

Sun

Author's Note

Umm This was not meant to be good. This is just a test to see if it could ever possibly be good...

Reviews

[Pax Analog]

It IS good.

You have a core felt theme, and you stay tight and close to it, configuring the poem like rose petals.

Most errors in writing, apart from typos, obviously, are from over-writing.

Like I said, you didn't do that. Your poem stands true and fragrant and poignant as rose petals falling -- and returning to bloom again in the cycle of life.

[Wicked]

I think this is well written & emotional

[jaime]

Simple and full of emotion. I picture dying and rebirth through your use of flowery visuals. Good job.

[Wildecat]

Excellent penning, you have painted a serene scene of peace and tranquility. Nice work.