The Desire To Surface

My shadow has told me all the loneliest stories of myself. He spent hours talking to me, telling me how I should feel. If you must know, this is what scares me most. I'm scared I don't feel for myself. I think there is a constant war between who I am and who I'm meant to be.

I'm never sure of how to feel or what to do.

I'm scared because the truth comes in pieces. My shoulders down to my fingertips, hips down to the crevices of my toes, the disconnection between my head and my heart, are all puzzle pieces. Each piece has been locked away in a safe and cast at sea. Every piece of me is waiting to run out of eternity, yearning for the breath of fresh air. The last thing I would sail for is myself and my lungs don't have enough oxygen left to scream my name. You can't speak underwater anyway.

I'm scared of drowning.