Of Pain

There are many types of pain. How do you persevere?

"Life is pain."

A wise man once said that.. or was it a fool?

"Happiness is a choice."

It's a common proverb... or is it a snickering taunt?

Who can say.

Surely neither phrase can be true while the other holds firm. 

Is life pain? 

Sometimes.

Sometimes, it explodes like a jagged stab to the heart, squeezing the soul like the brutal hands of a stone giant. 

Sometimes, it seeps in like a thief under cover of night to leech away all treasures of joy and trophies of by-gone happiness.

Sometimes, it stalks its prey like a shadow, always lurking over your shoulder or in the corner of your eye, just out of sight but one step from overtaking you. 

Sometimes, it is a boa constrictor that coils around your throat with suffocating fervor.

And sometimes, it is the prick in your gut that realizes that a past happiness will not be yours again in this lifetime. 

Surely to say that life is pain is not too far stooped in a morbid veil of melodrama. 

When you are in the valleys of life, to look up and see the years of destruction carved out by your river of pain is to perceive a seemingly eternal suffering. 

So how can I choose happiness?

How can a choice be more powerful than reality?

And yet, the shadow cast by my canyon walls fill me with such dread and despair that not to try to be happy is to condemn myself to an existence worse than death. 

I want to shed my skin to rid myself of my scars, but they are carved into my bones, too. 

Is there no path to redemption?

My body is desecrated with the pain that comes from the earth's abundant supply of sin. I need a new body. 

I need help to choose happiness. 

I sink to my knees; the weight of my sediment walls crushes my soul and presses upon my consciousness like a physical weight. 

Sometimes, pain does not have a voice. Sometimes, its pressure builds up inside of you until, unbidden, it exposes itself as a powerful cascade of diamond tears, forged from the coal of suffering. 

And so I cry.

I cry for myself and my self-inflicted misery.

I cry for missed opportunities and my stubborn heart.

I cry, spilling my pain like blood across the ground.

And I pray for forgiveness. 

For I have wandered through the unending desert of sin all my life in search of an impossible utopia. That hope was an illusion. Surely there can be no happiness apart from You. 

Lord, help me to choose happiness. 

Help me to choose You.

Reviews

[CreativeStroke]

When I saw a read request for one of your works I was immediately ecstatic! I always enjoy what you write... so full of talent!
I love how this piece started out so dreary and hopeless and then at the end a glimmer of hope emerged, casting light upon the darkness. Turning to Christ is the absolute power of hope and change in a sinful, fallen world.
Beautiful job Emily!

[Emily]

Thank you so much! You are always so encouraging, and it means a lot! I'm so glad that you liked it! I love pieces that have a redemption theme to them, and you don't need to be redeamed if you aren't first fallen. I like to start in the dark so that the light is that much brighter. Thanks again for your support!!

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

I like this...sometimes life can feel like this so often. I like the way you explained everything, it painted a lovely picture. And I loved the ending.

Great Job

[Emily]

Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you liked it. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this somewhat prosy piece is filled with startling imagery and feeling.

wonderfully penned...yes, we can choose happiness, it is up to us...

some dwell in pain and drama; they choose that life...the "woe is me" attitude"

it is their dress code.

i like this piece--it is hopeful.

jacob

[Emily]

Thank you for the review! I'm glad that you see the hope- the light is can be so much brighter after the dark! My goal was to show that there is always a way out. I wanted this piece to be encouraging, despite the initial struggle. Thanks for taking the time to read it!