Of Pain

There are many types of pain. How do you persevere?

"Life is pain."

A wise man once said that.. or was it a fool?

"Happiness is a choice."

It's a common proverb... or is it a snickering taunt?

Who can say.

Surely neither phrase can be true while the other holds firm. 

Is life pain? 

Sometimes.

Sometimes, it explodes like a jagged stab to the heart, squeezing the soul like the brutal hands of a stone giant. 

Sometimes, it seeps in like a thief under cover of night to leech away all treasures of joy and trophies of by-gone happiness.

Sometimes, it stalks its prey like a shadow, always lurking over your shoulder or in the corner of your eye, just out of sight but one step from overtaking you. 

Sometimes, it is a boa constrictor that coils around your throat with suffocating fervor.

And sometimes, it is the prick in your gut that realizes that a past happiness will not be yours again in this lifetime. 

Surely to say that life is pain is not too far stooped in a morbid veil of melodrama. 

When you are in the valleys of life, to look up and see the years of destruction carved out by your river of pain is to perceive a seemingly eternal suffering. 

So how can I choose happiness?

How can a choice be more powerful than reality?

And yet, the shadow cast by my canyon walls fill me with such dread and despair that not to try to be happy is to condemn myself to an existence worse than death. 

I want to shed my skin to rid myself of my scars, but they are carved into my bones, too. 

Is there no path to redemption?

My body is desecrated with the pain that comes from the earth's abundant supply of sin. I need a new body. 

I need help to choose happiness. 

I sink to my knees; the weight of my sediment walls crushes my soul and presses upon my consciousness like a physical weight. 

Sometimes, pain does not have a voice. Sometimes, its pressure builds up inside of you until, unbidden, it exposes itself as a powerful cascade of diamond tears, forged from the coal of suffering. 

And so I cry.

I cry for myself and my self-inflicted misery.

I cry for missed opportunities and my stubborn heart.

I cry, spilling my pain like blood across the ground.

And I pray for forgiveness. 

For I have wandered through the unending desert of sin all my life in search of an impossible utopia. That hope was an illusion. Surely there can be no happiness apart from You. 

Lord, help me to choose happiness. 

Help me to choose You.

Reviews

[CreativeStroke]

When I saw a read request for one of your works I was immediately ecstatic! I always enjoy what you write... so full of talent!
I love how this piece started out so dreary and hopeless and then at the end a glimmer of hope emerged, casting light upon the darkness. Turning to Christ is the absolute power of hope and change in a sinful, fallen world.
Beautiful job Emily!

[Emily]

Thank you so much! You are always so encouraging, and it means a lot! I'm so glad that you liked it! I love pieces that have a redemption theme to them, and you don't need to be redeamed if you aren't first fallen. I like to start in the dark so that the light is that much brighter. Thanks again for your support!!

[MAC]

filled with emotion, an excellent write!

[Acer]

wonderful

[Emily]

Thank you so much! :D

[Acer]

My pleasure ;-'), the writing was good indeed.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

beaitiful verse, jampacked with emotion.

[Emily]

Thanks so much for the read, Neva! I'm glad you liked it. :)

[Mark Anthony Games (Hum..]

Review for Change the World Comp.

I like this work but would prefer you to find the strength from inside your self to accept happiness. Waiting for help from above will just keep you waiting. You have used some beautiful lines in this work, Very honest and full of powerful images that depict emotional clarity. Great work

[Courtney]

You have a point, in which you have wrapped in a blanket of words from within. I liked the way you decided to draw it to an end. "Lord help me to choose happiness. Help me to choose you." Splendid ending.

[Emily]

Thank you so much, Courtney! That really means a lot. :) Ohh a blanket... I love that word picture! Ending it always the hardest part, so I'm really glad that you liked it! :D

[Frieda P]

I love your style, I felt as though we were sitting on my sofa with two glasses of wine having this discussion. it's personal, it's heartfelt, lots of depth of layers to this read. Nice one!

[Emily]

What a lovely review! Thanks so much! I'm glad that you got the sense of intimacy- writing is my way of working things thorough, so I love that it came across to you in that way.

[Inda]

Well written journey from dispair to hope.

[Emily]

Thank you so much! Life really is a journey, isn't it? :)

[Ohhhwillow]

This is beautiful.. Truly you have a talent. It has been a while since I've read something with such raw emotion and it was certainly portrayed here. The stanza beginning "I cry", was stunning, a good way to draw closure to this piece with a looking glass view of your reality. Thanks for sharing this Emily

[Emily]

Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment! I was feeling quite raw when I wrote this, so I'm glad that I was able to capture that with my pen! I love that description of yours- "a looking glass view of your reality." I couldn't have said it better myself!