What a time to start daydreaming

A Story by Doodle29

Angela has been locked almos all of her life in a chamber, without seeing her face. One day, she sees it in an old mirror and starts to ask questions about her past.

What a time to start daydreaming

Outside, what is outside? They say it’s a beautiful place where birds sing and rainbows shine, where everyone belongs and fits is. But I didn’t believe them. All my life, I’ve been living on a chamber. All by myself with not so much interaction with the others. I don’t know how I could make it this far, on the age of 22. I know there are others like me, I can hear their whispers. But I don’t know them, truth is, that I had never seen myself either. I’m not curious, though. Who knows what kind of ugly beast I might be? Maybe that’s the reason that they locked me in from the beginning. Although, I do have fingers and legs and a body, just like the others… But my face? Is it nice? Does it look like theirs? I’ll never find out, probably.

It’s nice in here. I have everything that I need: food, water and books to keep myself occupied. The others come her from time to bring those things to me. There once was a human, going by the name Wallance, who used to talk to me when I was little. He’s dead now. He wasn’t too old, just about my age today and when I asked what happened, they told me he died from cancer. I didn’t believe them then, and I still don’t believe them now. I am a peaceful being, but sometimes I feel like I want so strangle every breathing thing. I scream from the bottom of my lungs and the others come and tie me up. I don’t judge them, I know that I am sometimes dangerous. I hate that about myself and I used to cut, until they found out and removed all the sharp things from the room. Now, I don’t understand why are they still keeping me around. I don’t do much, I just live a parasitic life, which I don’t really enjoy. I could kill myself, I know various ways of doing it. So why aren’t I doing it? I’m not afraid, that I know… So why? I guess this one of those questions that has no answer but a lot of people ask it. That’s a weird thing also… To ask a question that no one knows the exact answer.

“Angela!” Oh, is it already the time? Sometimes, they are taking me to a doctor to check on me. I never actually wondered what for, I am not really allowed to ask to many questions and if I do ask, they’ll answer with a “Because we said so” or “ Because this is good for you”. They are all a bunch of liars, but there is no one to say otherwise so I have to trust them…

“Yes? Is it already the time? “ I answer casually. I’ve been through this too many times before to be nervous or excited. The other person knocks on the door a few times before walking in.

“I’m afraid it is, Angela but there’s nothing to worry about, just the usual thing, nothing special added.” He then smiles at me. Oh, how I hate that smile, I have seen it so many times in the past and it never stopped to horrified me. It’s filled with such a fake sympathy that it makes me sick. Am I really that unpleasant?

“Okay, then. I’m ready, we can go.” I don’t think to much about this tings, I just hide myself in the deepest corner of my mind and let the other persons guide me. He leads me out of the room and enter on a long hallway that makes me feel dizzy. I hate going out of my place. The unknown scares even if I don’t want to admit. The man puts his palm on my back, his long fingers stretched out to help him guide me better. He pushes my forward down the hallway we take a few turns and we stop in front of a white, simple door. He tells me to wait outside, before going it to tell the doctor that I’m here. Usually, I sit in front of the door without moving an inch, but today I don’t know what have gotten into me. I’m a lot more nervous there, something in the back of my head starts to bug me, telling me to be a bad girl and disobey his orders. I follow my mind’s orders and I walk a little bit further then take a turn to left. Bad decision. There, hanging on a wall, an old and dirty mirror was waiting for me. I didn’t look in it from the begging, neither did I think that I should, but as I said something’s gotten into me today, so I looked. At first, I didn’t know how to react, I was frozen there. I was indeed a monster, an ugly being. Now I understand why they keep me locked from the others eyes. My face was burned. All wrinkled flesh on my once beautiful cheeks and, God, my lips! I had no lips! Just goddamn teeth showing and my, my eyes! What happened to them?! Why there’s flesh covering my beautiful blue eyes?! I can hardly see! What happened to me? WHY CAN’T I REMEMBER ANYTHING?! I was beyond mad! I was furious! And then a horrendous scream crawled from my throat to the outside world. I started to furiously shake and more screams erupted from inside me. I WANTED ANSWERS! Peoples head were popping up behind their doors to see what’s happening, they just kept staring at me, exchanging looks and whispers between them, but never moved behind their doors, like it could f*****g protect them from me. They felt safe. Well. they weren’t! So I started marching towards them, ready to break some necks but in my fury, I didn’t heard the medics behind me who injected me with a tranquilizer to put me to sleep.

I collapsed to the ground like a hard rock. I don’t remember anything that happened after this, all I know is that I woke up in a room -not mine- which was painted in white. In the center was a table with two chairs positioned across from each other so that the two people could see themselves. Also, I wasn’t in the same clothes. From what it looked like, I could tell that is was a straitjacket. I’ve been in these before, nothing unusual for now. Although, I was expecting something new, because I had never behaved like this before. And the new arrived. There was this man, dressed formal in a black suit, in contrast with the room I might say, who took a seat in one of the two chairs. I watched him dumbfounded, studying carefully his actions. His joined hands were tightly pressed against his mouth while his eyes were wandering across the room. Then, his pupils rested on me, filled with sincere compassion. I felt embarrassed by my face so I tried to hide it behind my hands but he came next to me and removed them from my chopped figure. I again, tried to hide it from his eyes, but he didn’t let me, he kept my chin in two of his fingers turning it from side to side to take a better look at it. I started to get uncomfortable under his curious gaze. I think he noticed it because he got up, straightened his suit and said:

“I’m Donald. We’ll spend some time together from now on, so I want you to get comfortable with this. We are going to talk today. To get to know each other better.” He then turned around and took a seat in one of the chairs. “ Feel free to sit on this chair.” He pointed at the other one, across from him. I did as he instructed and took a seat. He nodded once in sign of satisfaction. “ So, Angela, how about we start with the things we like and dislike? Let me start first: I like smart people, Angela, I like life, although I like cigarettes. About the things that I don’t like? Well, there aren’t too many, but I know for sure that I can’t stand ignorance.” He finished the last statement with a frown on his face, meaning that he wasn’t kidding,on contrary, he was dead serious. I have to admit that I was a bit taken aback by his sobriety. He then focused his attention on me again “Would you like to share yours?” Donald tried a small smile which seemed to cause him some pain, because he didn’t seem very happy. I thought a bit about sharing those private things with a stranger and decided that I have nothing to lose by doing what he asked.

“I really enjoy reading. If I think better, that’s actually the only thing that I like. It makes my mind wonder, it puts it to work and I imagine the view described there, I feel what the characters feel and I love it! When I read, I feel free, I can see the outside world and I wonder if it really is as described there. I know some of the books that I read are old and not from this era anymore, but who cares? There must be some truth in there and I decide if I should believe it or not. For some reason, I can’t remember anything that happened to me before I arrived here. Basically, my life started when I came to this place. The books educated me again. Made me a human, at least on the inside. I rediscovered emotions like: love, fear and excitement. Could you believe that an object made me feel more like a human than any other person from here? Books are my everything.”

Donald nodded and asked: “But what about the things you hate?” I didn’t have to think too much to answer this question.” My face.” I simply say. This seemed to startle Donald, I don’t know for what reason, it seemed a pretty obvious answer to me. I watched him with interest, seeing him trying to compose himself was kind of hilarious. I only smirked a little bit while watching him coughing.” Are you fine, Donald?” I ask, trying to seem concerned. He shifted a bit on his seat then got up and said: “ Yes, Angela, no need to worry. We’ll have to end this here today. I’ll talk with the others and you’ll be escorted back to your room. Tomorrow, we’ll meet in this chamber again. “ He then looked me up and down then added: “The straitjacket might not be needed. “ He then left the room, letting me with my questions and silence, ‘till the guardian came to take me back to my books.