I'm Selfish

I realized something yesterday.

     Something happened to me yesterday that I want to share with everyone. I was at the vet picking up medication for my dog. I had to wait awhile, so I sat down and talked with the doctor.

     Let me go back 9 months ago, my dog is my world, I have had her for 11 wonderful years. She was diagnosed with Cancer. I thought my life was over when I heard that. She was given 4-6 weeks to live. The past 9 months, she has been fine, no symptoms at all.

     So here we are, 9 months later and now my dog is showing symptoms and she is not doing very well. I am sitting with the doctor and I told her, "I just want what is best for my dog, I don't want her in pain."

     When I was driving home, I thought about what I said. I have been so selfish! How am I going to live without her? It is always, me, me, me. It is not about me. It's what is best for my dog.

     Then I thought back and I see how selfish I have been my whole life, it's like something hit me to make me realize this. I can't explain the way I feel now, but it is a good feeling. I know it will be hard to lose my dog, but she has had a great and happy life.

     I know that I will get through this now, and she will be ok, and so will I. Whatever happened to me in the vets office, I'm glad it did.

THE END

Reviews

[NataliaXael]

Awwh, it's always hard to see the end of such a good thing. A beautiful relationship with another living being is what makes existing so special. So there will naturally be a tough goodbye.

[Amanda Trerotola]

Totally not selfish. You loved your dog very much. I know the pain of having a dog with cancer as we had to put her down. It’s out of love you don’t want to let go. I loved your poem!

[Donna]

Thank you Amanda, it is such a hard time right now. I appreciate that.

[Riddhi]

I can understand the way you are feeling but its not being selfish but its your immense love for your dog that does not allow you to lose her..When I was 4 or 5 years old , we had a dog..Actually the dog was elder to me in age and when he died my entire family was in a so big shock that we never had pet after him...You know our pets are our family members whom we love immensely and its our natural human tendency that we fear of losing them...Anyway keep on writing and take care...

[Yu?]

My condolences. Do what your gut tell's you is right.

[Donna]

I appreciate that!

[Wild Rose]

Cat; Dog; Pet; Rabbit; Friend; Family member.
All are precious to us
When they are ill we wish them well
We hate to loose them
We know they will be missed
Whatever the reason
We are sad for the loss

No you are not selfish it is a natural feeling - we hate our lives to be disrupted
You showed love for your pet /companion
She will remain in your memory for ever

[sette]

it is not being selfish it is your great love for the dog that matters the most

[Relic]

I've had to put two cats down due to sickness. What a hard decision it was to make too. I still think about them from time to time. It's so hard to put an animal down when you want them to stay.

[Donna]

Yes it is very hard, but it has to be done, I can't have her suffer or be in pain. Thank you for sharing.

[Onlyme]

I can understand and relate me cat We had was 21years old a happy house cat she was starting suffer from renal failure and to be kind we did the kindest thing for her and let her go to sleep. So she didn't suffer as it was not fair on a loved one.S she had peace. That was Such a hard decision to do and stick with but glad we did for her little life not to suffer and to be happy again with gods pets above us all watching over us.

[Donna]

Thank you for sharing that. This is so hard knowing I have to make that decision very soon!

[¿]

Love for dogs that too immensely...I had seen in my brother's eyes when his so beloved dog died while suffering from a disease of which we're unknown of....No matter what happens to your dog your love for her won't be lessened at all I know!
And the selfishness you shared with us here is something more than a good deed...thanks for sharing with us Donna! Almighty's grace be upon you and your lovely dog☺Ameen!

[Donna]

Thank you Tahsin, that was beautiful.

[¿]

You're heartedly welcome😊😊!

[barleygirl]

Donna . . . first let me give you my deepest sympathy for what you’re going thru with your dog. Even tho she had “no symptoms” for those months, you were still on pins & needles worrying & checking & nursing your baby along. I wish you the best in making this impossible decision . . .

I completely understand your big realization. There was a time in my life when I realized I was basically narcissistic – in other words, interpreting everything in terms of how it would be for me-me-me! (as you dramatically write). I didn’t have kids becuz I knew I could never do all the sacrifice that’s needed. Lately I’ve tried to be less self-absorbed. Volunteering at an animal shelter for 6 years helped turn my perspective around. I tend to be more empathetic for animals than humans! As always, I love your self-honesty. If there’s one personal trait that makes for the best writing, it has to be self-honesty (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Donna]

Thanks Margie for understanding and your kind words.