God for a Day!

This is pretty much the truth about the gods!

God for a day

 

If there was a god for a day TV show hosted by George Bailey, unrelated to the Jack Bailey who hosted the ‘Queen for a day’ show…  And If I was god for a day, would I hurt and kill people?  Would you? I don’t think so.  But if an ancient dude thousands of years ago  watched his child die would he just turn on C’est la vie sung by Bob Seger or B*Witched.  Uh, the 8 track and the iPod wouldn’t even be invented for like another 50,000 years.  Nope, he wouldn’t say “That’s a Wonderful life” and get on with his own, sans kid.  What he would do is figure out that some bad guy must have killed the kid.

 

He had already hit the guy in the next cave over, in the head with his stone axe for sleeping with his wife, so he couldn’t blame the dead guy.  Voila, he turned to his childhood imaginary friend UG the bear who used to scare the poop out of him when he was a kid sitting with his legs crossed by the camp fire, which by the way, his grandfather held the patent to, and began to think that UG must have done it!

 

So that is how the first god was born.  In the beginning, all gods were bad! 

 

Then one day he saw the exposed buttocks of the wife of the guy in the next cave down the street looking the other way.  As he eyed her curves while she bent over picking berries did he say to himself… “Oh my UG.”  No way, he knew that UG was a bad god and this pretty young thing was in no way bad.  He said out loud ¡Ay, caramba!  Knowing that she didn’t understand Spanish but that he wanted a piece of that pretty young thing so bad that it made the little dangling thing of his tingle.  He remembered that he used to call it wii back when he was young!   (I’ll bet you never knew where Nintendo  got the name, did you.) So that’s how the first good god, Wii, got its name.

 

I think you are probably getting the picture, so, I’ll just close by telling you that man got along perfectly well for thousands and thousands of years with all kinds of gods.  Good gods, bad gods, fertility gods, rain gods, sun gods, etc.  Until one day this spoiler guy comes along and says… “Oh no, there is only one god,” which is probably true.  But the problem is that the tingling part made us nervous.  Luckily, along comes Flip Wilson with the answer… ”The Devil made me do it!”  So here we are back at square one.  Now, where did I leave my iPod?

Reviews

[Avoiry]

XD Oh my gosh , this is wonderful Sean! This made me so incredibly happy to read as it exposes things in a very realistic modern manner. Originally all gods were moody and bad very true i mean old testament god was down right mean. Wii and Ipod though lol...applause to you

[Norma M Sutton]

I got a good chuckle out of this. Sounds about right to me.

[Sean Allen]

Response to Gandre’s comment

If there are no gods and gods were created by humans, then simple logic would say that there cannot be any human!

By the way, the word god is used in two ways in the English language… God, with a capital ‘G’ refers to the ‘person’ of God, the almighty, the Allah, Jesus, etc. as a believer thinks, speaks or writes about that ‘person’. God’s with the small ‘g’ never refers to the ‘person’ of God, but is referring to idols, icons, statues or mythical gods of the past as in the Roman god Jupiter. You could easily say “God is Jupiter.” But you probably can no longer say “Jupiter is God.”

A cross with or without an image of Jesus could be considered a god, small g, if a person worships the image and not the person it represents. This is why the ancient Jews forbid the making of statute’s and paintings (Graven images). They, as many cultures did, also hid their god as in the Wizard of OZ movie and self chosen leaders began to tell the people what God looked like and what God wanted them to do.

Most people in the world follow teachings and traditions as they form their concepts of God. Although they should seek God for themselves, it is often easier to follow others than to think for yourself. Men like Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses were special in that they sought to know God better than they were taught by the traditions of their day. In that way you could describe them as ‘non believers’ I suppose.

In our modern world, most of the tricks, like those the Wizard used, don’t work anymore. Every schoolboy knows that Jupiter is just a big ball of gas and that the planets rotate around and depend on the Sun for their existence in a symbiotic relationship. Scientists have gone back to about 1 second after the Big Bang they theorize about and they get closer and closer every day to understanding where the Universe came from.

Wouldn’t it be something if as they get closer and closer, that one day a cloudy vision comes into view… The vision of God, big G, holding onto a match, about to light the fuse.

[Gandré]

There are no Gods. Gods are created by humans.
If someone believes - then it is personal.