A Poem

An impossible love story.

I needn’t stroke your silken hair
or touch rose petal skin.
The type of love I have for you....
it burns from deep within.

While in my soul the fires rage,
and nothing is consumed.
My spirit wanders aimlessly,
from room to darkened room.

The proper words I cannot say,
to show you my great love.
Yet here I’m staring at your face,
while you look from above.

Still my heart stirs with great desire,
to reach up and touch you.
As these feelings that I’m feeling,
I know they’re in you too.

 

But you will someday think of me,
when this book you have closed.
And I am just a memory....
and not the one you chose.

Alas...
Of all that I have looked up at,
‘tis you I wished I’d known.
For yours is a breathing spirit,
and mine.... I’m just a poem.

 

A Sean Allen Poem

© 2006 D McDaniel Hayden

Reviews

[Edward James]

With 50+ reviews, I doubt I can tell you anything new or groundbreaking as far as analysis goes, so I'll say that I really do like this poem. I'm a sucker for old fashioned rhyme schemes and rhythm, and not being a visual person, for me the aural sensation of reading a poem is quite often every bit as important as the message conveyed. Saying that, I love the pulse of this piece, and the idea that a poem (whether yours or someone else's) is observing and caring for you in the same way you do it is quite pleasant. I think I may have to reevaluate some poetry after reading this.

Nice write, I look forward to reading more

Edward

[Anata]

Now that's what i call an original thought about a poem, really amazing!

You put in perspective what all those poems we wrote with love and eventually decide they are not good enough go through. You actually portray a poem as something that has got feelings, which i adore very much. For isn't it so that when something is written, and the writer poured his soul into every sentence, is bound to have unknown feelings towards his creator too.

Extraordinary!

[Alucard]

I really like this, good vibe is an understatement!

But you will someday think of me,
when this book you have closed.
And I am just a memory...
and not the one you chose.

This line scares me to death, but with a different meaning then you intended. Really Nice Work!

[Michael X]

Sean, this is beautifully written and expressed, the tone and meter lend a smooth consistancy
that delves into the nature of unconditional love with full feature and romance, skillfully scribed in form,
I think most readers can relate in one way or another, brilliantly done with class.
keep up the awsome work

[Li Li]

This was so gentle.... the melody and content went "musefully" together, and it became such a pleasant experience after reading only the first few lines.

You have a way of mixing the modern English, with contemporary English. It comes out as a beautiful combination. Not many would be able to expand their mind in such a way. Nor would they be able to use it as effortlessly and cleanly.

Such an enlightening "poem".

Love!

[Pratibha]

oh ! the last line made me re-read again in a different light altogether....when something as cute as a poem talking to us, our evening becomes so beautiful...isn't it?
I am so glad i am getting to read good poems and they are just expanding my vision....

[Red Brick Keshner]

The title threw me off until the last stanza. Nice one!
This is probably my favourite of your poems posted here.
But I will have to read the bulk of them first to see if that changes.

[Gandré]

Hello Donn

So good to see you here again! You have been missed.

You wonderful inspiring poem made my day. Raffinesse en detail! I think it's about those precious moments when poet and the reader are One.

Thx for your lovely comment on my poem Hummingbird.

Please, don't leave us and stay a while!

Unfortunately, I can't rate when using this old blackberry It won't let me.

Regards
LG

[Kathryn Star, Shine!]

I enjoyed reading your words. Your poem was like a lost lover waiting for love to return, then you turned the poem around and "Alas" the love came back. I love happy endings... ks.

[Illuminatix]

I truly enjoyed this poem. There is such a sad passion lingers in between these lines
On a technical note I find that you have overused the ~I~s in this poem and
this line:
"My spirit wanders aimlessly,
from room to darkened room"

repeating the word ~room~ twice, just dims the hues of this whole stanza

Oh, before I forget a lovely closing dear poet, bravo!

[LadyLove]

A most impassioned interesting look, at the thoughts of a good old book, not just the book but a single poem, lost within a much read tome. This was nice too...to see an inanimate with feelings..hmm. Cool!