A Poem

An impossible love story.

I needn’t stroke your silken hair
or touch rose petal skin.
The type of love I have for you....
it burns from deep within.

While in my soul the fires rage,
and nothing is consumed.
My spirit wanders aimlessly,
from room to darkened room.

The proper words I cannot say,
to show you my great love.
Yet here I’m staring at your face,
while you look from above.

Still my heart stirs with great desire,
to reach up and touch you.
As these feelings that I’m feeling,
I know they’re in you too.

 

But you will someday think of me,
when this book you have closed.
And I am just a memory....
and not the one you chose.

Alas...
Of all that I have looked up at,
‘tis you I wished I’d known.
For yours is a breathing spirit,
and mine.... I’m just a poem.

 

A Sean Allen Poem

© 2006 D McDaniel Hayden

Reviews

[Edward James]

With 50+ reviews, I doubt I can tell you anything new or groundbreaking as far as analysis goes, so I'll say that I really do like this poem. I'm a sucker for old fashioned rhyme schemes and rhythm, and not being a visual person, for me the aural sensation of reading a poem is quite often every bit as important as the message conveyed. Saying that, I love the pulse of this piece, and the idea that a poem (whether yours or someone else's) is observing and caring for you in the same way you do it is quite pleasant. I think I may have to reevaluate some poetry after reading this.

Nice write, I look forward to reading more

Edward

[Valerie Jones]

The meter and rhyme in this poem are delightful and create a wonderful concoction.

There are so many interpretations to what you are expressing here. It could mean of a lover or a god/goddess of some kind you are reaching out to.

The last stanza certainly wraps the rest of the piece in silken thread, as it finely furthers the emotion you are transmitting. I look forward to reading more, that was a wonderful poem. The title certainly fitted to perfection.

[Jess Opilo]

that was.....well, it was everything the title led me to believe, and a little more. I'm awestruck (hehe haven't used that word in a while) you put everything in its perfect place, you were honest and open....and it sure as hell paid off. while I Love "and I am just a memory...and not the one you chose." b/c I can relate to that on about 15 levels at first glance; my favorite part had to be your end...for one thing, when used to the right effect 'alas' can say so much, its like a regretful renouncment. its good that we can see ourselves "as we really are" but it really makes me sad when we see another person as so completely beautiful (in a deeper manner than surface level) and they don't see that within themselves- how are we to show them what already IS them? wonderful write :)

[Maria G.]

Beautiful, heartfelt and sad..

Great piece..

[Whirl]

wow, what's left to say that hasn't already been said?
this is simply stunning, from begining to end.

[Aaron]

You may think I'm just being silly here, but here is my favorite line of the entire work...

"Alas..."

After setting up the reader with five full verses of rhyme and meter, you deftly drop this in before the sixth and final verse... and it reads in a most fluid manner, as if it weren't even there in the first place but, rather, a subconscious thought dreamed by your audience. Fantastic!!!!

peace
aaron

[Nihad Dweidary]

Awwww. It is a wonderful poem with much finesse in the end. Your talent truly shines in pure form and word choice. Favorite lines:

"But you will some day think of me,
when my book you have closed.
And I am just a memory...
and not the one you chose."

Love,

Nihad

[Avoiry]

It flows well and it's such a gentle piece i love it

[Whisperer]

Superb. Its melancholy but not in the least melodramatic. It talks of reality and yet it takes me to a land of dreams. Its beautiful, since it tells us what it is to be in touch who we really are...

[Candid Writer]

I love your choice of words in this piece - it made for a GREAT poem, which flows eloquently from beginning to end. And yes, it is also a very warm piece. I love it!

[Maxinne Marie]

This is a MASTERPIECE! Beautiful! Perfect! I love it. This is a favorite of mine. =)