A Poem

An impossible love story.

I needn’t stroke your silken hair
or touch rose petal skin.
The type of love I have for you....
it burns from deep within.

While in my soul the fires rage,
and nothing is consumed.
My spirit wanders aimlessly,
from room to darkened room.

The proper words I cannot say,
to show you my great love.
Yet here I’m staring at your face,
while you look from above.

Still my heart stirs with great desire,
to reach up and touch you.
As these feelings that I’m feeling,
I know they’re in you too.

 

But you will someday think of me,
when this book you have closed.
And I am just a memory....
and not the one you chose.

Alas...
Of all that I have looked up at,
‘tis you I wished I’d known.
For yours is a breathing spirit,
and mine.... I’m just a poem.

 

A Sean Allen Poem

© 2006 D McDaniel Hayden

Reviews

[Edward James]

With 50+ reviews, I doubt I can tell you anything new or groundbreaking as far as analysis goes, so I'll say that I really do like this poem. I'm a sucker for old fashioned rhyme schemes and rhythm, and not being a visual person, for me the aural sensation of reading a poem is quite often every bit as important as the message conveyed. Saying that, I love the pulse of this piece, and the idea that a poem (whether yours or someone else's) is observing and caring for you in the same way you do it is quite pleasant. I think I may have to reevaluate some poetry after reading this.

Nice write, I look forward to reading more

Edward

[Chantal-lise Mirman]

Woo-Hoo! The 100th review! I don't think I've read another poem here that has been read and reviewed and favorited so much! But then, this is a poem to which we can all relate, as we are only on this site because of our love of poetry and prose. This is a real love affair with words!The anthropomorphization of a poem is brilliant! Ascribing self-awareness to what a poet has penned elicits a marvelous image... and many writers actually DO refer to their works as their children! The poet's primal urge to communicate is so well-embodied by this poem's voice; in each stanza we see the process he goes through to connect with the reader.And the last stanza (that 99 other people have already commented on) is the clincher. The poem declaring in a self-deprecating way that the current reader is his soulmate, his true love! Who can resist that? Of course we have all fallen in love with "A Poem!" How could we not? Great rhyme and easy flow, but you knew that already. And a nice conversational tone...I guess I'll join the bandwagon and put this in my favorites (even though I feel this may not be a monogamous relationship)! I promise to take good care of "A Poem" and spend quality time with him regularly...

[Emily B]

Writing a rhyming poem is deceptively difficult. I could never quite capture the art of it. This is beautiful, like reading the masters of old but fresh as a daisy. I'm glad I came by.

[Bryce Simonds]

This was a great read. I didn't feel the need to close this window and go read other poems like I normally do. This was a great poem, I liked it a lot. My favorite line I would have to say is

Yet in my soul the fires rage,

Great job.

-Bryce

[hyancynthstofeedthysoul]

four starsAlmost Perfect, but.. LOL a poem that does not begin ''roses are, violets are blue.'' i like it.

[Nathan Strange]

WOW! this is a poem with a voice and heart. It's kind of like a redemption piece. The truth of words is that they are objective but subjective and meaningful! Sean, this poem has a great message. The poem is such a nice oem he even compliments the reader as being alive. It's kind of an existentialist piece. Very thought-provoking and it definately ponders the truth!

[Anon]

Good subject, well done. Love the "from room to darkened room." You use the word soul twice in this poem, which weakens the word. Can you find a synonym?


"Still my soul stirs with great desire,
to reach up and touch you.
As these feelings that I�m having,
I know they�re in you too."

---this particular passage, the rhyme/meter feels forced, if only because the first line is eloquent, beautiful poetic language while the second line is short and direct. The continuity is off within the 3rd and 4th line as well.

regards,
Cynthia (compusa) :)

[April Child]

How beautiful and how ingenious!

[Eric]

I reviewed this once but I just had to stop in and read this little beauty one more time. Surprisingly, I sighed again as I did after my first read. Lovely

[Russell Pennwright]

Such poise with words.

[Hannah Epstein]

Oh, it is a poem alright. Appropriate title. Lovely, eloquent.