Heaven In Hell

2004-05-08

Everything's dark, invisible fires, torment and fear flowing through all. Those over there died as martyrs, so why the hell are they down here? I search to find somewhere to rest my head. Charring coal here, a lava bed there. Either place I go my skin will surely shed, tell me why I'm here because it's never been fair. As I lay here, dying ever again, I find myself falling further yet reaching higher. For what seems incomprehensible, I try to grab a hold of the truth. I once knew the Almighty One, I believed in Him like all my other friends. Praised Him for all that He had done, I had God to always depend on. So tell me why I’m here, burning in a lake of fire, ashes as dark as this world; I keep reaching higher. But I know why I fell and He does too. I always denied I ever walked away, why didn’t I ever try walking back? If only I knew it was that simple, only if I had stayed. Over and over I rejected, my heart grew ever colder. Why didn’t I just open my eyes? I continued to die as I became older. So as I lay on this molten rock, I dream of heaven for the sixth time. Crying myself to sleep has never been so easy as I pray my next dream will be more divine. Wandering about my life, I was always lost and confused. Had too much to cope with, always being abused. So I held the steel blade, closing my tear filled eyes, as I prayed that God heard my cries. Yet my blood still hit the floor as I screamed from the pain. Uncontrollably I cut some more until I couldn’t bleed anymore. I’ll never forget how easy it would’ve been if I had opened my eyes, but deep within I let myself fill with lies. So as God condemned me, sending me to hell, I caught a glimpse of heaven. Ever since, I always dream of what I saw and tonight will make it number seven.