A Prayer for Daddy

 

A Prayer for Daddy

A Poem by Dominick

 

The bed has been empty for days now,

smiles lost their way home

Mommy paces back and forth,

waiting by the phone.

 

The doctors have been saying,

all these scary things

There’s been talk about angels,

and how he will get his wings.

 

Any questions lead to tears and sobs,

we dare not ask again.

His picture now our favorite toy,

mommy stays in daddy’s den.

 

The clock drops sands of time,

as we hold each other and say

We’ll do whatever it is you want,

just hear our prayer, for daddy to stay.

 

We’ll brush our teeth and make our beds,

perfect angels is what we’ll be

You can have our dessert, for all eternity,

Lord we ask you to hear our plea.

 

If there is anyone, who will listen,

daddy is happy here so please

We need him, more then you do,

and we are down here on our knees

 

He needs his princess, he needs his lil’ chief,

he needs mommy, we are all a family.

Tell daddy don’t go, tell daddy don’t leave,

he has a home here that needs him you see.

 

One more chance is all we are asking,

we swear we’ll tell him everything.

Give him all our love, kisses and hugs,

play all his songs and let him sing.

 

Mommy Mommy let the phone ring,

We haven’t finished our prayer you see

Just a little more time is all we need,

till we can go back to our happy family.

 

 

Reviews

[Raef C. Boylan]

Aww.
It's brave to try new styles, especially ones like this, as childlike narratives can be viewed as overly-simplistic writing. You've done a good job here of telling the story.

"Mommy Mommy let the phone ring" - bad news? :-(

Not your best piece, but great experimentation.

[Kriminal]

I don't think I agree with some of the other reviewers on here. In a way they are right, it's not your best piece but you can only have one best. For going outside your norm to test yourself and better your skills is a feat in itself. The way you created this to really seem like it's the work of a child is tremendous. I agree it doesn't fit your normal style and that's what puts you above the rest. Anyone can do a good job at something they do all the time. Not many at all can do a great job at getting into the minds of others, especially a child.

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Touching piece, I wouldnt say it's the best of yours I've read with this one, but it's decent and honest with such raw emotion. It almost seems like this was written by a child in some way. I can relate to the feelings described having lost someone dear to me in the last year.


Great Write.

[Leslie Thompson]

touching and i deeply admire you tring something new
your a good writer and a good person no topic is out of bounds
just write what comes and you'll do a great job just like this