Una storia d'amore dimenticata (translation below)

Inspired by Amanda's "Sweetest Kiss", tried to change the point of view and see romance how the other sex would, tell me if you like it

Un ultimo ritocco al trucco e apro la porta di casa,

lui è già li sotto, con tanta pazienza, da ore ad aspettarmi

mi mostro finalmente, e lui sorride, corre ad abbracciarmi

nota i nuovi orecchini, mi dice che sono bella, ringrazio nervosa.

I suoi complimenti riecheggiano nella mia mente, da essi pervasa,

lo guardo, la sua bellezza farebbe invidia alla luna, inizia a piacermi

non l'ho mai visto vestito cosi bene per uscire con gli amici, devo piacergli

apre la macchina e mi porta lontano, fra le sue braccia mi sento difesa.

mi porta in barca sulla Senna, sotto Parigi illuminata

mano nella mano, guardo i suoi stupendi occhi castani,

mi bacia, nella capitale francese gli dono il mio cuore innamorata.

[...]

Non ci vediamo ormai da anni, vite diverse ci hanno portati lontani,

casualmente c'incontriamo in una strada abbandonata,

ma non ci conosciamo più, siamo ai nostri occhi semplici estranei.

Translation

Title: A forgotten romance

A last touch-up to the make-up and i open the door,

he's already downstairs, with a lot of patience, been waiting for me for hours,

i show up and he smiles, run to hug me,

he notices my new earrings, he says i'm pretty, i thank nervously.

His compliments echo in my mind by them pervaded,

i look at him, his beauty would make the moon envy, i start to like him,

I've never seen him so well dressed to hang out with his friends, he must like me,

he opens the car and drives me far away, among his arms i feel protected.

He brings me to a ship trip in the Seine, under illuminated Paris,

hands in hands, i look at his brown eyes,

he kisses me, in the french capital, in love, i give him my heart.

[...]

We haven't meet for years, different lives brought us far away,

randomly we met in an abandoned street,

we don't know us anymore, in our eyes we're ordinary strangers.

Author's Note

that was incredibly tough !! I've never written about feelings or anything i don't feel or never felt (i've never been a girl !!) plus i'm straight so double challenge: be a convincing girl and make a romance with a guy looks real ! Put the most "girly" songs i know on my headphones and tried to write something ;) It follows Petrarchian sonnets' scheme (2 quatrains, 2 triplets ABBA ABBA CDC DCD)

Reviews

[Jazique]

Awe loved that. All I can recommend is that you're that thing with the uncapilized 'i' and 'meet' in the second to last verse should be 'met' probably. Other than that you did great. You make me wish I could read Italian but nice job with the gender switch. I love the ending most though as we once gave our heart to someone now we pass with not one second of a fasten heartbeat. Well done.

Stupendo ed Meraviglioso mio amico, le tue parole raggiungono superiore al più qui. Così felice di leggere un pezzo fantastico nella lingua Italiana. Grazie per questa storia che e dal cuore, e brillantemente formato.

E.L.

[*~*Butterfly Kisses*~*]

I can see you put a lot of thought and hardwork into this, and it clearly shows. You have pulled off something superb of a write. Nicely done!

~Anna Rose

[Monique]

this is soooo good. I think you did a great job speaking from the females perspective. I like the part about feeling protected in his arms.

[Rae Emeral]

For never having been a girl, you did quite a good job. :) I enjoyed this. It's sad but sweet. Nice poem.
~Rae Emeral

[Buniheart]

Awww, this is so bitter sweet. Although you explained that you've never experienced much of this, i think you've still done a terrific job! I can almost feel the distance in the end, where once loves become 'ordinary strangers'.

[Coyote Poetry]

I like this poem. It is odd to meet a old lover in the street. People who had no secrets once. Now far apart in life and thoughts. Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[AK]

Brilliant poem! I loved the rhyming and syllable scheme! So very well written. Keep writing!

[MandaBear]

very nice. i think you did an awesome job with this. those "girly" songs helped :)

[Roe]

Nice write! I enjoyed reading this