She's my girl and she's still yet to come

She's my girl and she's still yet to come

A Poem by 外人 (Gaijin)
"

Thinking about my dream girl

"
No blonde hair nor deep blue eyes she does have,
perfect shape she doesn't need or crave,
but her voice is so soft it speaks right to my heart,
she's my girl and she's still yet to come.
She listen to everything i say,
i make her feel special everyday,
the world plays on FM but we, alone, play on AM,
she's my girl and she's still yet to come.
She's smart and she's not ashamed of it,
she knows much more than other girls, she's wit;
she doesn't hide herself behind make-up,
she's my girl and she's still yet to come.
She cheers me up whenever I'm sad,
with her i can't ever be mad,
i make her feel safe whenever she's scared,
she's my girl and she's still yet to come.
She's my soul mate, my baby, my it girl ...
she's my girl and she's still yet to come.

© 2012 外人 (Gaijin)


Author's Note

外人 (Gaijin)
Well, that was an experiment, today my english teacher taught me about VISUAL RHYME (something i've never met in Italian since every letter sounds always the same way in italian) and i tried to compose something using them. The anaphora of "she" was made both to continue the visual effect started from the visual rhyme and to resume the theme of the poem. So tell me what you think about it (HONESTLY !!)

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Featured Review

HONESTLY -- this is the most touching peice I have come across recently! It is so innocent and tender! So naive and childish and romantic! I keep smiling when I read this! Also it reads like a song -- serenade of a medieval knight (with this repetition of the last line in each stanza) I totally loved it! Congrats!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Honestly, this is good. It shows your dreams about your dream girl the yearning for her. A sweet write.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

HONESTLY -- this is the most touching peice I have come across recently! It is so innocent and tender! So naive and childish and romantic! I keep smiling when I read this! Also it reads like a song -- serenade of a medieval knight (with this repetition of the last line in each stanza) I totally loved it! Congrats!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A really nice, sweet poem. I do like the rhyme, very concise and precise, and your bravery in trying this type of poetry out, really worked well. Nice work :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Really nice! :)
-RutT

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this reminds me of that one song. I dont remember the words buts like "I still havent met her yet" is the only line I remember. I think this is great

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i love it domicic_995

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nice flow of thoughts and I like the desire to make the girl your own and only. Few people make us smile and happy. Need to hold them close and keep them as good friends. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i love it :P and very well done on trying something new lol this sounds just like me perfect!! hahaha just kidding. great write :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

great outsome then, well done with trying something new, well done, good read.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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9 Reviews
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Added on March 29, 2012
Last Updated on March 30, 2012

Author

外人 (Gaijin)
外人 (Gaijin)

London, United Kingdom



About
Why do I call myself 外人? 外人 is a foreigner, an outsider, therefore we're all, no matter what, 外人. We all live as foreigners in-between two worlds: The wor.. more..

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