L'école - Haiku (translation below)

Hope you like it :)

Le soleil sourit,

le temps est beau, moi dans cette

école ennuyeuse.

TRANSLATION

Title: School

The sun smiles,

weather is nice, (and) me in this

boring school.

Author's Note

Today I've been kind of into french and I've also been very bored, the outcome of the two things is the fact I've written my first two poems in french ... instead of paying attention to lessons in class xD

Reviews

[icelandicblue]

I love the word ennui.

The sun smiles at me
weather is nice, me stuck in this
boring school prison

Just smoothing out the syllables which does not necessarily have to be done, that's why I added prison- maybe it feels more like réclusion - do you feel alone? because the last line could read something like

The sun smiles at me
school- serving time in prison
solitary life

Just playing take what you like and leave the rest.

[外人 (Gaijin)]

Both are cool but out of the 5-7-5 syllables scheme both in English and French :(
The first one was better, though ;)

[icelandicblue]

You can take the "this" off the first one and the 2nd English does have the 5-7-5 construction.

[外人 (Gaijin)]

English def, french (the original) no :(
It would be:
Le soleil sourit à moi, (7)
le temps est beau, moi fermé dans cette (9)
ennuyeuse prison scolaire. (7)

[icelandicblue]

That is beautiful regardless of the syllables. Do moi and scolaire almost rhyme a bit? T I read this out loud and I love this poem.

[外人 (Gaijin)]

if it's not 5-7-5, it's not a haiku, my friend :(

[icelandicblue]

That's not true- that is just an artificial constraint we have decided to use when writing in English. A haiku in Japanese means in a breath- words you can say in a breath. The Japanese haiku does not follow such a rule. The 5-7-5 syllable is an artificial schoolroom rule we have put on haiku but not all haiku must or should follow that rule. I guess we must agree to disagree then.

[icelandicblue]

I hope you're not mad at me-I just did a lot of research on this genre because they were all I ever used to write. : )

[外人 (Gaijin)]

no, i'm not ! Don't worry ;)
I just prefer how I've written it, making it smooth, hope you are not mad with me, indeed !

[icelandicblue]

Not at all, it's your poem!

[外人 (Gaijin)]

=D Just don't stop giving me your opinions, ok? I really need someone who tells me exactly what they think :)

[Devanshu Rajput]

a perfect haiku.....

[外人 (Gaijin)]

thank you very much, my friend :)

[Devanshu Rajput]

again welcome

[Devanshu Rajput]

again welcome

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Well it seems school is not an activity you enjoy!

[外人 (Gaijin)]

yeah ahahah, I hate it so much ! If it were for me I'd be already at the college !

[S]

Few good things that come out of a boring class....your poetry is one of them :)

[Yari Garcia (Older Prof..]

Hehehe This made me chuckle. Really cute :-)

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Well school can be boring but once you leave it you might miss it.
Nice Haiku.

[Krista Weiss]

Haha way to not pay attention during class! :P

[Mockingbird]

that's great that you wrote a haiku in french. it sounds very pretty in french.

[外人 (Gaijin)]

thx :)

[quinfinn]

very clever

[Coyote Poetry]

It does seem the sun shined more when we are busy and can't enjoy. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Leslie Philibert]

Like it !