Riddle O

Guessings and comments are welcome :)

She's always by your side,

always with you in this fight,

no matter what you do, 

she will always stand by you,

everybody can forsake you, hate you,

but she'll always be there, help you,

she's an angel from heaven

disappoint you, she'll never.

A helping hand you can always count on,

the greatest friend you can trust on.

My deepest secrets , to her, i have told

for she'll keep and protect them as if made of gold,

my mind and my heart she knows better than me,

no need to talk, a look and she knows what I mean,

in this world no one really gets me

but she, alone, understands me,

I'm an open book to her, page by page,

she can read it if she wants, for once I'm not afraid,

she lights up my world by simply existing,

without her, something'd be missing.

I love her as I've never loved somebody,

'till we live, she will always be my buddy,

we are linked by the strongest bond of all,

in our veins, the same blood does flow,

In her friendship I can count for sure.

Author's Note

After three tries that's the best I could get, I'm not happy at all, what do you think? Should I delete it?
As always, 10 guessings and I'll tell the answer

Reviews

[quinfinn]

no, don't delete it. adjust your rhyme scheme, work on smoothing the flow some.
think and rethink outside of the box...for example try "my deepest secrets , to her, i have told....for she'll keep and protect them as if made of gold" just a quickly thought out rhyme scheme. this poem has so much potential, work with it...play with it, take a break and get back to it...remember, there is no deadline on talent, nurture and groom it until you are satisfied. great start!!!

[外人 (Gaijin)]

Thx, thx, thx, THANKS !! That's exactly the kind of review I was needing :) Your idea was amazing, already changed the verses ;) Gonna follow your advice, now I take a break from this, then I'll come back :)

[CHRIS ANDES]

vous etes un bonn fil
:)
nice write

[Devanshu Rajput]

why are your thinking to delet it?...it's a great,excellent,fantastic piece of writting...you captured a lovely quiz...i think it is....hmmm...hmmm....mother or sister...may be!!!!

[外人 (Gaijin)]

Thank you =D It's sister :)

[Devanshu Rajput]

wow i am happy...i was right...

[MandaBear]

Your sister? At first I thought mom but I thought maybe you wouldn't tell your mother everything like you would a sister or brother. So I guess Sister!

[MOON]

Beautiful write tribute to a sister.

[*~*Butterfly Kisses*~*]

Reading the other comments I see this is about a sister. My first thought from the lines "i'm an open book to her, page by page..." I thought it was a muse or notebook, I'm way off. haha Nicely done though~

[Mockingbird]

very fortunate to have someone like this in your life. you can't ask for anything more. you'll always have comfort and solace and inspiration. extremely passionate poem.

[Leslie Philibert]

I`m no good at this - mother ? don`t delete it, good work.

[外人 (Gaijin)]

Nope, it's sister :)

[Ahmad Cox]

Its sweet. I actually enjoyed it. I have a couple of friends like that as well

[axel]

my guess is a MOTHER, since you said she, as GOD is masculine where i come from

[外人 (Gaijin)]

came VERY close, just look for someone more "at the same level"

[axel]

dont tell me it your WIFE cos its only to a MOTHER we are linked by the strongest bond of all,and in our veins, the same blood does flow.
O MAE E TUDO !

[外人 (Gaijin)]

it is not wife, man !! Don't worry, just don't go for mum, look for someone else in the family ;)

[axel]

ok, nao pode ser,O MANO, a resposta e (O MANA) feminino

[外人 (Gaijin)]

mana è irma? Se sim ... acertou =D Vlw por falar em portugues, assim os outros ainda nao entenderao a resposta ;)

[axel]

ok the answer is sister
mas eu noa tens irma.......esta e muito bem escrito

[外人 (Gaijin)]

thx for letting everybody knows -.-

[Coyote Poetry]

Your poetry always a pleasure to read. Don't delete the poem. Good to have people who can make the reader think and ponder. A amazing poem.
Coyote