Chiron

a slightly shorter chapter

 

 

 

                When the blindness finally wore off, the three of us were standing back at the Hotel Styx. Nothing was different, nothing had changed. However, Chiron was nowhere to be seen, leaving the brightly lit lobby eerily quiet.

            The only other sounds besides our footsteps on the marble floor were freckle face’s whimpers. The large staircase led straight up this time, ending in a landing high above. Three large, black doors stood facing us as we reached the top. Our names were already etched into the wood of our designated rooms.

            We nodded to each other, silently saying goodbyes, opening our respective doors and vanishing from each other’s view.

            The inside of my room was similar to that of the one the three of us and Kale had stayed in the night before. However, this one was slightly bigger and was made for only one. The largest bed I had ever seen sat neatly made in the center of the room. The sheets were crimson, as were the tapestries that decorated the walls. The same balcony spewing false light into the room faced the north wall, and the white marble pillars still rose up to the ceiling decorated with heavy wooden beams. Another table of food sat in the center of the room.

            I sat down at the edge of the bed and sighed in exhaustion. I curled up into a ball right there and drifted off to sleep without any food. I wasn’t hungry and I knew the food wouldn’t have filled me up anyway. I had another dream where I was chasing a golden blur through mass of blurs, then the scene evolved into the beach that I had seen from the balcony, but even in the dream I knew it was a fake. The night went on like that for a while, every few seconds the scene twisted violently into another. I tossed and turned in the bed, barely skimming the surface of reality.

 

--

 

                Something gurgled loudly. I sat up quickly with horrified images of the spiky colossus raising its massive head over the edge of the bed. Then, in the darkness of the room, I realized it was my stomach. I cast a heartened look over to the table of food, but it was gone. I sighed and played with my wrist that I been sleeping on the entire night. It was numb with that pins and needles feeling. I groaned with hunger and began thinking of idiotic ways that I could escape this place. Maybe I could dive into the river and swim away? I shook my head at the thought. There would probably be sea monsters or something in there.

            A strange scratching sound on the wall brought me back to attention. I looked up and saw a black door, no larger than a microwave, form along the white wall across from me. I stood up and inched closer to it carefully, as if something terrible would leap from the door at any moment.

After a few minutes, I was confident that nothing was coming through from the other side so I gave the small door a slight push and watched as the black panel swung open slowly. Outside there was a hallway, dark and lit by torchlight, just like the first room I had seen since coming to this place.

It brought back bad memories.

 Looking around at dark walls covered in grime, I wondered how I had ended up in this place. The hall ended in a dead-end and I looked back to see if maybe there was another door I hadn’t noticed. However, every wall was blank and as I watched, the small door that I had created faded back into the wall.

            I was starting to worry and get that scared, hot-blooded feeling. I figured that if it worked once it could work again, so I put my hand up and closed my eyes. Why am I here? I thought, squeezing my eyes tighter. I opened them and saw nothing. Sighing, I closed them again and thought, I need a way out! This time, my thoughts seemed to echo around in my head.

            A scratching sound coming from the wall in front of me told me that it had worked. I opened my eyes excitedly, but then frowned in disappointment. The door that had formed was about the size of my hand. I walked over to it and poked it open with my finger, forming a small peephole that allowed me to see into the next room.

            Beyond the tiny black door, a bedroom resided. It was smaller than my bedroom , but it had much more in it. The walls were painted black and an eerie green fire roared in a large black fireplace adorned with glass jars containing strange glowing balls of all sizes and colors. Desks cluttered with black papers littered the room and against the far wall, an enormous bed with an obsidian frame and emerald green sheets resided majestically. However, what made my heart nearly stop was the pale skinned man in the black suit, standing in the middle of the room facing the fire with his back to me.

            “No! That is unacceptable! Find that blasphemous pig and bring him to me, do you hear me! Bring him . . . to me!” Chiron’s unusually raspy voice yelled at something between him and the fire. He must have been remarkably angry for tiny specks of spit flew out of his mouth and into the green fire making it crackle loudly. Chiron looked away for a moment, listening to something speak.

            “This . . . this must be a joke. One of the challengers is out of their beds you say? Which one?” Chiron looked down again. From where I stood, I could see the edges of his red eyes flicker crimson with anger. “Nic . . ? Well, well, well, looks like the crowd’s favorite is awake.” Chiron looked down again.   

            “He didn’t eat the food . . ?" he said, distantly. "Well then, I guess that means he figured our how to create a door. That’s usually a hard trick for a challenger to accomplish, the only other one that’s managed to do it was . . . Him.” Chiron paused for a moment. “Do you think I care! Find that little brat too, and bring him to me.”

            I looked away for a moment, pondering if I would be able to make a door out of this place, then looked back . . . and into Chiron’s eyes.

              “Hello there.” He whispered through the peephole. A thick wooden cane shot out from the sleeves of Chiron’s suit jacket. It was black and the intricate carvings in it absorbed the green light from the fire. I backed away from the peephole with my heart jumping into my throat. The peephole stretched and grew into a normal sized door. Chiron stepped out calmly, slicking back his white hair and looking down at me with those terrible red eyes.

            “Hey there, kid. What do you say, how about you forget what you heard just now and go back to bed.”

            “W-what?” I stuttered, my fear getting the best of me. Chiron cast a look over to the wall to my left. Instantly, a door revealed itself and opened. Beyond was my bedroom, the same way I had left it. Chiron reached down and grabbed my shirt, then tossed me with ease into the bedroom.

            I landed on the marble floor on my shoulder and yelped in pain.

            “Now, don’t run away again or I may be forced to remove you from the game.” With that, the door slammed shut in front of him and disappeared into the wall.

            I stood up, gasping for breath. What the hell was that? I thought, rubbing my shoulder. I looked around the dark room and decided on some air.

            The balcony was cast in fake moonlight that reflected off the fake ocean and fake beach below. I reached out and watched as my hand passed over the boundaries of the illusion, causing the colors to distort and mix. I drew it back with a groan of exhaustion as the colors reformed into the clear image.

            I wasn’t the only one Chiron had been looking for, and I hadn’t been the more important one either. Who was that man that Chiron was after? If I met him, would he be a friend or a foe? Chiron seemed to have a secret agenda. Something elusive that was driving even his cold soul to madness. I pounded the railing of the balcony in frustration. What the hell, I thought. What’s really going on here?

            I walked away from the moonlight and back into the room where the enormous bed was waiting for me. I laid down on it and closed my eyes, waiting for my heart to slow down so I could sleep until morning.

            Minutes passed by, but I still couldn’t muster the peace of mind to sleep. I was worried about nearly everything and horrible thoughts kept rushing through my head. I twisted up in the covers, wishing that I wouldn’t wake up for the last challenge.

            I didn’t remember falling asleep . . . but I did remember waking up. I made to sit up and realized with a shock how hard it was to move. It felt like I had been carrying the force of the world for a few centuries. I groaned laboriously and tried to stretch out, but it was no good. My joints refused to loosen up.

            “What the . . ?” I muttered to myself. I planted my feet solidly onto the floor after taking almost five minutes to pull them out from under the covers. Standing up, I needed to use the bed for support or else I would’ve fallen over. My body felt like someone had strapped invisible lead  weights to it while I was asleep. I tried to walk, but ended up falling to my knees, gasping for breath. My lungs felt heavy too and every labored breath I took, I had to force.

            I collapsed to the floor, sprawling out on the cold marble, trying to catch my breath. That’s when I heard the voice.

            “Are you ready?”

            I looked up to see Chiron; his red eyes flashing with glee, his pale skin nearly shimmering and to top it off, a grotesque smile began to form across his ugly face.

Author's Note

please review if you like it. Also, open to grammar point-outs this time.

Reviews

[TL Boehm]

i find it interesting that he is going through all this - with no idea of "why"

[The Perfectionist]

I must confess myself a little bit confused as to why you'd ask me to review a chapter in the middle of a book I haven't read. It makes it more than a little difficult to make sense of it all.

Technically, you're not bad. There are a couple of grammatical errors (mostly misusing commas) but nothing worth worrying about.

As far as the story goes, what do you want me to say? I know nothing about any of these characters, or the plotline, or anything else outside of the bounds of this chapter. You do a good job of creating suspense, but the impact is lost on me since I don't know who the narrator is or what the story's about.

One thing I can, and will, complain about is your pacing. The first part of this moves oddly quickly, progressing from the lobby to the room to sleep with only a little bit of description between. That's all well and good, but telling us a little bit more about what the narrator is thinking may be desirable rather than just objectively describing the room.

[Drifter]

I rather enjoy when a writer builds up the suspense and offers more questions as the story progresses. When you go back over this to edit it, I would comb through the sentences and discard any excess words. There are several places where the smoothness feels off because of this. Other than that, well done!

[Star Wolf]

Fascinating. You have a great imagination and created a very vivid world here.

[HorrorMaster]

Sweet story

[An owl on the moon]

Powerfully vivid write. You create a dark atmosphere of mystery and bring the characters to life in a stunning way.

[WriterSki7]

Wow. You actually thickened the plot this time.

So far so good. like the twist you put at the latter part.

[WriderParker]

I like it man very good I'm learning a lot by reading your works.

[Frantzuu]

Great chapter, i enjoyed it, u've made a few typoes but I'm sure u know that. keep goiing!!

[James Watts]

Another nice installment to this novel. I am left curious as to what Chiron has planned and seem sort of worried for the main character. What a world you have created and the characters that reside within it. Nice write.