That Breaking Point

“Stop it Tom!” She screamed as I dragged her by the hair away from the kitchen table. Her limbs scrambled around in an attempt to grab on to something to no avail. I had her and she wasn’t getting away. Not this time.

I couldn’t remember what we’d been fighting about, in fact my memory stopped at about five minutes ago, when I grabbed my girlfriend by the arm and threw her to the ground.

The thing was, I was just angry.

 I just wanted to kill her . . . for absolutely no reason at all.

My footsteps pounded firmly across the apartment as she slid heavily across the hardwood floor. She grabbed a green plastic dust pan that had been laying in the corner of the kitchen as I dragged her into the bedroom. She whipped it over her shoulder blindly, hoping to catch me in the eye or throat.

However, the dust pan glanced fruitlessly off my right shoulder and slid towards the far wall, out of reach.

“Please Tom!” She screamed at me, “Tom! Let Go of me! Tom! MICHAEL!”

I laughed at her.

It was a cruel thing to do, I know, but for some reason, I couldn’t help myself. The sight of her squirming like that was terrifying, yet at the same time, it was remarkably comical to me.

I threw her on the bed and laid on top of her with my full weight. She started making spastic motions with her body in an attempt to escape, but I was at least seventy pounds heavier than her. I ran my hands up and around her skirt as I kissed her neck. She tried to move her head away from me and get her hands free at the same time, but I had them under control.

“TOM!” she screamed louder as she shoved her wrists against my chest. I kissed her once more than leaned up and attempted to get my jeans unbuttoned. She saw the opportunity and went for my groin with her flailing legs.

I stopped her movements with a quick jab to the nose. She gave a muffled wail as blood started to drip steadily from her left nostril. I allowed her a hand to hold back the blood. After all, I didn’t want to stain the sheets. I knew Michael wouldn’t be happy with that. Then again, Michael probably wouldn’t be happy with anything I was doing right now . . . Or about to do.

I snickered at the thought as I successfully unbuttoned my pants and began to take them off. She reached over to h side table and grasped the telephone with a bloodstained hand. With one swift movement, she grasped the whole thing and whipped it at my face.

The telephone, along with the answering machine hit me square in the forehead. I slapped her hard in the face then stood up, pants halfway off, grasping my forehead where the damned hunk of plastic had hit me.

My vision suddenly went fuzzy.

Then it became unbearably clear.

“Oh, my god, Jenna . . . Jenna! what happened!?” I yelled as I ran over to her.

When she saw me coming, her eyes sparked with fear, and darted towards anything heavy she could use to hit me. It was then that I realized what had happened. 

“No! Jenna . . . Jenna, it’s me . . . Michael!”

The fear in her eyes slowly changed to relief as she realized her nightmare was briefly over.

She sat up, still holding her nose and walked slowly to the bathroom, limping slightly on the left side. I was just relieved that she was still fully clothed. I started cleaning up, I plugged the phone in and placed it back upon the side tabel, then cleaned it off with a wet wipe.

When I was done, I went over to the bathroom door and tried to walk in. I realized the door was locked and backed off akwardly.

"Hey, a . . . honey, look . . . I know that theres no way I could say sorry but I . . ." I stopped. I honestly didnt know what to say. I set my hand against the door, then walked back to the bedroom.

 

She came back into the room sometime later, still bruised up, but her nose had stopped bleeding. I stood up as she entered and said “Oh god, honey . . . I’m so sorry. I’ll take you home if you want.”

She shook her head, on the verge of tears.

“No, Michael. I can’t take this anymore. . . either you go to a psychotherapist or something, or this is it . . . we’re done.” She put her hands up for emphasis and put them down and started to shake.

“We’ve tried this before Jenna, The doctor said that I can’t get rid of Tom with a few therapy session. I take my medicine . . . but that’s about all I can do. Jenna . . . Jenna, don’t look at me like that, please.”

She shook her head violently and began to sob. I walked over to comfort her, but she put her hands up to stop me. “I’m leaving Michael . . . I’m leaving you, and Tom, and whoever else your keeping up there. Michael, I’m leaving.”

I wanted to tell her not to go, but I knew that I couldn’t promise her this would never happen again. Because chances were that it would, and who knows how badly she would get hurt next time. I looked at her and nodded. This was for her own good.

A few minutes later, she had gathered the few things in the apartment that were hers got in her car. I watched her out the kitchen window as she walked through the snow and got into her car; a white toyota. When she got in, however, she didnt start the car right away. Instead, she sat silently in the drivers seat, sobbing quietly. 

It took her a moment to gain her composure, all the while, I stood at the kitchen window watching her. Then, with a screech and a muffled whine, her car spead off and into the darkness of the night.

 

Reviews

[Mariah Renae]

Great intro. You kept me on the edge of my seat, unable to stop reading. Great visuals, felt as if I were watching a scene in a movie. There are a few grammatical errors but other than that I definitely want to read more.

[Madame Quill]

Wonderful read! The first lines caught my attention. The next few lines kept me reading. The shocking twist was the strawberry on top of the pudding. :) I don't reeaaaallly know if I would separate the personalities more...I think the quick pace is part of the charm. Each personality seems well formed, it is just that the story goes a bit fast, but I like that about it. I swear I am not trying to just be difficult when I say I like the ending the way it is too. Great job! Well done!

[Kaitlin Shea]

Definitely grasped my attention.
I agree that separating the personalities could help while still retaining the integrity of the story. I could be wrong here but usually with multiple personalities, one isn't aware of the other one. I think if there was a longer stall between switching personalities, the situation would gain more clarity as well.

Enjoyed it though!

[Ross Saunders]

I think you have a decent start to something here. I say start as I think you kind of stop short here. One thing I would suggest is that you work the narration to better give the separate personalities their own voices. I just thought their narrative voices was too similar to be fully bought fully by the reader. The second thing I would suggest, is expand the ending. I think it stops sudden and ultimately just needs to reach a bit more of a conclusion. Her leaving him seems like only the first part of this ending.
This was a very solid read and good luck with it.