Running In Heels

Again......my battle with bulimia. This is how it makes me feel.

Running In Heels

 

I'm set to self destruct

stand back or watch me blow up.

I'm pounding on the door,

yelling "what the f**k do I do this for"?

Why is on my lips.

Pain is in my heart.

My fingers are in my throat.

The guilt is on my mind.

My actions rock the boat,

the boat I call my life.

 

I fail to see the good

right before my eyes, why isn't it enough?

I'm a stupid self destructive girl

blowing up my life, destroying my world.

I listen to the voices

distinguish them from just noises.

I pay too much attention

to the bad within my head.

I take advantage

of my own weakness, fear and dread.

 

I'm running in heels,

missing out meals,

binging on horror,

fearing tomorrow.

I'm Helen, mother of two, loving fiance.

Unkind to myself,

love and honor everyone else,

fear, loathe and neglect myself.

 

Monday 16th March 2009

Author's Note

I hate to sound rude but this one is more than personal......this one is helping me heal, its set in front of me exactly how I feel right now and its helping me. Therefore I dont care what criticism anyone has....If you like it YAY if not I wont lose sleep over it. I posted it here as a way of helping me make it real xxx

Reviews

[RosalieAllen]

This is beautiful, I'm glad you found the courage and strength to write this and post it on here for us to read. You are truly talented. I hope you can fight your battle