Sober

I wish there was a twelve step programme
To take to recover from you
I would freely admit my addiction:
The need
The release
The agony

I'm trying my best to dry out
A sobriety of the soul
But abstinence makes my heart grow fonder
And I am a drunk
A user
A lush

Purging myself of you
Takes more than vomit and pills
I wish it were simple but I'm climbing the walls;
I ache
And shiver
And sweat

So I've locked you away and thrown out the key
Because this is how it ends.
I would rather be sober
And empty
And numb
Than the drunk driver at the wheel

Author's Note

This is a new style of writing for me so I'd really appreciate a viewpoint on whether it works.

Reviews

[wordman]

a 12 step program,i don`t think their is one
just the old fashioned one

[BBP]

You killed this! Nailed additction and love in one! Great job!

[Dolce Vita]

Thank you, that means a lot :)

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Powerful words and the style made it much more powerful I think. I like the title too. Tyfs!

[Dolce Vita]

Thank you Cyprian, much appreciated :)

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

You're most welcome!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"I would rather be sober
And empty
And numb
Than the drunk driver at the wheel"
I feel as if I can relate to this at some level.. How much we do want to not feel what we do feel..
I liked reading this and the pain was clearly depicted here. Good work :)

[Dolce Vita]

They are such kind words, I'm really glad you could relate. Thank you.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You are welcome! It was a pleasure ☺

[Tazeen Ahmed]

The structure is very convincing and powerful!
Loved the unique style of yours.

[Dolce Vita]

Thank you, I am very new to poetry!

[MedicalNightmare]

It definitely works. The two-word lines are really effective to the mood. Perfect metaphor, I really enjoyed reading it

[Dolce Vita]

Thank you, that's really helpful :)

[slfisher89]

(thunderous applause) I like the extended metaphor. Relating the consuming nature of love and heartache to addiction and withdrawal. This poem begs to be read aloud at an open mic night.

[lua]

the structure really works and the ambiguity of 'you' allows open interpretation as to whether this refers to a person or a substance

[several thousand]

It works. Easy to relate to.
A lot of pain trying to get sober but often in life one has to choose the lesser of two evils.
If anyone finds a cure to love hangovers - LMK!
Nice poem. =]

[Dolce Vita]

Thank you for reviewing this for me; yes I would also like the cure for a love hangover!