Actress

Please don't ask me how I am
Unless you really want to know.
You're not ready to hear that kind of truth
You've already got seats for the show.

So here, I'll give you my smile instead
Although it's wearing thin.
Don't look too hard or listen too close
To the girl with the painted grin.

Would you like to know that I started today
Fearing the curtain that rises?
That the leading lady's forgotten her lines?
Don't worry. She's good at disguises.

Please don't ask me how I am
Naked truth is a funny thing.
I'll stick to the lines that you came to hear
And fly on with a broken wing.

Author's Note

This is the first of my poems that I've shared; I am just looking for some feedback please.

Reviews

[MedicalNightmare]

You communicate this so well. I always hated the formality of "how are you" and how the only correct response is "fine", the only lines they came to hear.... Too many people in theatre professions especially put up that wall of fake overfriendliness that keeps you from actually understanding each other

[Dolce Vita]

That's very kind, thank you. IRL I'm not in the theatre profession but I think we all feel like we are at some point!

[Sikandar Khan]

You Poem Is Nice And Beautifully Written Madam....This Is Your First Poem And You Wrote Very Well .. I Want to Share some experience of mine in starting of december 2016 o have wrote my first poem i got mor reviews and all of them appreciate me because it was my first try some of them criticize me for my grammer i used because my grammer is very pooor because i am non english Madam i want to say u have wrote well amd u are also good in grammer u have asked for feedback i want one thing from you just one request try to write in more simple and describing words you can write it because you are so good in English when u will write in simple way so people will understand more eaily its just a request not any criticizing i just said what i want to say i really liked ur poem if it was in more simple amd describing words so it will be more enjoyable i hope u inderstamd my comment Thaks For Reading My Comment....Madam..

[Valentine]

For your first write on the site, it is written very well. Just read others, see which form you like, keep writing and you will grow as a writer. Valentine

[Dolce Vita]

Thank you Valentine, I will head over and check out some of your work :)

[.]

Very nicely rhymed and executed.

I enjoyed the metaphorical light on this piece; that one acts out with false emotions to hide the true emotions deep inside.

A very relevant theme for many of us. Sometimes we just need to paint on that smile for others while we bleed inside.

A very nice write.

[Dolce Vita]

Thank you Doodley, I really liked reading your review. Glad you can relate :)

[Gee]

Sweet, uneven rhyme scheme but that detracts nowt from the poem

[Emily Mac]

Wow. This is an amazing poem. It has so much emotion and I can really relate to this. The use of your words and the way you structure it were really good. Extremely enjoyable. :)

[Dolce Vita]

Thank you, I was hoping it would be something that people could relate to so that means a lot.

[BBP]

Loved this one. Portrayed the act of pretending in life with an awesome twist of an actress. Blunt and soft at the same time.

[Dolce Vita]

Thank you Bev, that's very kind :)

[Adam Adams]

very well...

kinda interesting, & very raw & real & manifested poetry it is. the truth's absolutely always laid naked and certainly found so funny as well. you don't know what one's passin' throu' and for what in life, perhaps, it oft. happens that we living in the world of wickedness where only the judgement stands the soul. so needless to say, people judge you by the act you perform on the pavements of heart. & crave for leafin' throu' your life, but nobody gives a damn 'bout knowing and understand the depth of your heart what exactly it's pumping throu', & what undisguises torments your life has already trudged throu'. a very fair and fine poetry you've come to lick down... in words. as per mentioned, it's your first poetry here on cafe's site, then i must say, it's not just a first poetry but a "first creative attack" on literature for sure. have at it.

looking forward to readin' your work!

[Dolce Vita]

Wow thank you for taking the time to write such a detailed review, I honestly really appreciate it. It's been a year of personal growth for me and now I feel like I can take what I experienced and turn it into something useful. I've got a bit of a writing bug now!

[Adam Adams]

writing bug? very well, my dear. guess, "writing-bug" could be anew title for... something to write upon. no?? of course, it can be. kinda like ur style, gurl.

[Justin]

that was extremely good, it was very emotional, it tells an amazing story :)

[Dolce Vita]

Thanks so much Justin, it was very cathartic to write.

[KTizzle]

At first the rhyme scheme threw me off, but then I reread it out loud and it fit. As people previously said, it does capture the insincerity of people.

Very relatable piece.

-Jazz

[Dolce Vita]

Thank you, I've not written rhyming poetry before but a friend wanted lyrics for a song so this was a bit of an experiment!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

The world's a stage and we are all actors as Shakespeare so rightly said.. So it doesn't hurt at all if we for the time being disguise ourselves into someone else..it's all for a show, right? just my thoughts..
Your poetry is deep and I like it also the flow is good enough.. Keep it up :)