Addicted To Pain

What an amazing addiction, what a great way to pass time...
Flooding my empty soul to forget...
Sliding into my heart, crawling out the back door...
Only wanting more...only wanting more...
The home light is off and diminished..
And I didn't even get a chance to open my eyes to see the road..
My veins are pulsing and my heart is deep and tight in my chest..
Beating not with love, but with a terrible want for dearth and rest..
Quick snippets are all that remains of beauty and happiness...

All my memories seem to flash...
Blurry images hit me in one fast dash..
I come off my high heated and slow...
I cry to the pain that won't see to go...
But all my screams are drained by another foolish inspirational scheme..
I never wonder for a second what it could mean...
Just let me fall...let me fall...
Don't make me hit you in the heart with evil words...
Can't you see the silver sword in the back of my pocket?
I lied when I said it was a heart locket...
In the background, in the distance...I hear the same old song that use to make smile....and it won't go away...

I keep on waiting to be looked at with a loving glance...
I keep on waiting for arms to come around me before I collapse..
But everything is just another relapse...
Conceited, mindless w****s are what I mainly see..
But if I look even closer the drunken and the weak are right there with me...
I'm with different people watching bullets drive me crazy through the head...
And instead of falling asleep I hurt all the people I can think of until I cry a hole through the bed...
Watching hope shed...watching love shed...