Fireflies

Two wolves; sit at the most romantic mountain

They look into each other's eyes

Stars sparkling; relfecting in their pupils

The she-wolf feels something strange in her stomach

She looks up at the night sky

"See the stars? They're beautiful." 

Then she noticed a star move and land on her nose

"How is that possible? Stars cannot move."

The male wolf laughs

"That's because it is not a star but a firefly."

The she-wolf asked: "Why does it light?"

"Nobody knows why. Other wolves say it represents love."

"Like ours?" she said as the firefly left her nose

She sneezed 

Then she lifted her muzzle and touched something cold

It was the male wolf's nose

She smiled and enjoyed the brief moment

He smiled and felt her body warmth from just her nose

"I love you Ike. Would you please be my mate?"

"Sure Stormie. Let's be together... forever."

Just then, the firefly landed on the their combined noses

Reviews

[Ezekiel Silver]

An extraordinary poem with a thought-provoking theme.

[♪Barklight♪]

Such a sweet little write on such a warm sweet little moment. Gah! X3

[Tina Kline]

A very cheerful and romantic poem. I love the playfulness between the two of them, it brought home their love for each other. Nicely done!

[Silent_Wolf]

This would have made a great story, but it's a good poem anyway. I like it!

I'm an absolute MORON when it comes to poems. Once, I spent half an hour trying to find a word that rhymed with orange. XDDDD

[DogDrawler]

It's actually a excerpt from the book I'm writing.

[Wolfwind]

Okay... Here is what I think.... You have generated a good little story with this weave of words. I wouldn't really consider it poetry in the proper sense, I'd place it into the category of a performed dialog, or a script.

I fell that you were able to successfully bring out the feelings of an emotional attachment between the two characters. It was tender, sweet and gentle, all good features of a solid romantic moment. The visual of the firefly landing on their conjoined noses at the end was wonderful and very endearing. It showed the strong connection that must be existing between the two.

Personally... I think I would like to see this piece writen without spoken words, but simply descriptions. Paint us their feelings rather than telling them to us. I also wasn't a fan of the male wolfs name... IKE? It reminded me of a cold popsicle on a railroad spike. That's just my opinion though.

Overall I'll say this... It's got creativity and easily carries across the intended meanings and emotions.

Keep writing! Thanks for sharing your ink. =)
Aaron - Wolfwind

[DogDrawler]

It was originally a story but I really wanted it to be a poem so I tried to change it a bit to fit poetry's needs. Sorry if it was too "story like".

[Wolfwind]

Nope! No sorry about it. You are the crafter of your own ink. I simply offer my view, which is just one in a million of other views possible at any given moment. So follow your gut inkstinct and take it where ever the pen tip slides.