Hell on Earth

Just late night ramblings, hope you like it ^*^

My soul is as black as night
But I walk through this world without a care
Why put up a fight
When all Mr.S wants to do is take you to his lair

Screams tear through the noxious fumes
As I walk slowly through the toxic hell
Under the ground my true form blooms
Right down in the flames is where I fell


Darkness sweeps through our veins like blood
Demons tear and burn at my soul with smiles and insanity
The night is intruded by a powerful and electrical flood
Demons eat our souls with sheer delight, shouting profanity

Reviews

[Macie Bradley]

You must be extra crispy. You no longer have blood in you as we all know. Hope ya didn't fall too deep and become a demon like them. I know you ain't bc your already gonna be their king.
Kill them all Mr.ClssicalyWicked

[TheLoversCheat]

I really like how you put this image in my head using this, writing about sins and then actually going to hell is very creative in this poem! 100/100

[Gabby Nieves]

We're already there, all of us. Seriously epic imagery and idk I feel pretty sad now and a bit scared cause I'm sure my house is haunted lol

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

Wow, this poem is very intense, I like the poem. Nicely penned.

Kaze~ :-)

[Aethereal]

It seems to me that this poems is a metaphor for Negative Karma that we receive for damaging the ecology of Mother Earth. When the Earth's children behave nasty towards her, then she behaves nasty right back. There’s a Thin Green Line between life and death on this planet, and we dare not cross it.

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

I'm glad you liked it :) Thats what I had in mind when I wrote it :D

[Aethereal]

Just as I thought, or otherwise it would be somewhat like my song-poem “Satan’s Midnight Express”
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Aethereal/1192808/

[Black Star Adept]

This is such a great piece, love the darkness and the despair. Great choice of words!

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Thank you so much :D Feel free to read my work any time ^*^

[Chloe_Spence]

I love the dark, macabre/twisted style of this poem!
I love how you started and finished this poem- the poem was sharp and powerful all the way through.

Well done, Anthony :)

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Thank you so much :3 I'm glad you enjoyed it ^¥^

[SleepSpectrum]

I really liked it! I love dark twisted poems and this was right up my ally. It was hints of insanity and fear, yet the overall feel is very unnerving and unsettling, in the best of ways of course.

I love the line: "The night is intruded by a powerful and electrical flood". It shows the whole potential of you as a writer, and in a response to the review that said this was cheesy has a very bad way of reading things. Some parts if you isolated them from the rest, would seem rather cheesy, however together as a whole they work amazingly.

As a suggestion, I think you would write a killer (no pun intended) short story with a similar theme. I look forward to things from you in the future :)

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Thank you so much :3 I'm so glad you liked it. I may try writing a short story of this :D it would have to be an apocalptic theme though :3 thanks so much again for your time ^_^

[Morrissey]

Honestly, this seems rather cheesy... In a nihilistic sort of way.

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

It may be cheesy, but its my work, and I love it either way :)

[Jake Donald Stephens]

Maybe this world is Mr. S's lair?
But does that mean there is no hope?
Damn. Now you have got me thinking!

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Lol I love to do that to people XD I use a technique I call "King-ism" as in Stephen king. Have you ever noticed he adds that just right amount of brain-fuckery where your up long past midnight thinking out the different possibilities ^*^ he also rarely gives a happy ending, happy endings are honestly overrated.... in the real world there's more likely to be a sad, depressing ending than a good one. Now don't get me wrong, im a huge sucker for happy endings, I just find sad endings more realistic :) anyways, thanks so much for the time to review me :) I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[Jake Donald Stephens]

I read "Tommyknockers" and "Pet Sematery" back in high school, and my writing was influenced big time by King's. The Gunslinger stuff too. I whizzed through "Drawing of the Three" in like 4 days or something. "Catching Fire" and "Mockingjay" are the only two books I've ever read faster than that, lol.