Death is fate

Fate works in really odd ways, it could be dangerous

The halls echo with haunting laughter
As the guest's in the ballroom hold each other and sway
The lively ones would scream thereafter
None would see the light of day

Oh poor Miss Wilder, so young and fair
Her fate was imbedded inside a twelve-gauge
The date held her arm as he blew her away with a heartless stare
Now blood and brains mixed with her beautiful dreams of being onstage

All the guest's were too busy drinking and laughing to hear
The screams and cries that drew the crows from their nest
The man held her in his arms, shedding one or two tears
But he thought it was for the best

The party ended with screams of pain
The man who was as quiet as a mouse lashed out in hate
Everyone in the hotel were slain
The lives of everyone were ended by the twist of fate

Author's Note

Hope everyone likes it :P I know it's dark, but I'm in that sort of mood

Reviews

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

This was more like a story and really wasn't
too Gory to me personally.


Felt like I was in the 1950's I don't know
why but I loved this I have seen much more
dark this had emotion and feeling and some
Melancholy in it and it has inspired me a bit.


As I will read this again.


Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece.


blessings. kindred poet

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Thank you so much ^*^ I'm so glad you liked it ^*^

[Benita-Staebell M - KindredPoet]

you're very welcome. it's my pleasure always. blessings. kindred poet


I have other dark poems this is a dark one it is older It's called Wicked Addiction of love it was inspired by the dark photo
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/GiggleBuG79/1329105/


Then this one is more like horror dark Psychotic insane
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/GiggleBuG79/1352015/
this one is called past Ghost of the Asylum


If you want to look it's up to you at either one of them.

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

I think I'll like the second one :3 I have a fascination with asylums lol

[Benita-Staebell M - KindredPoet]

Great if you want to check out past Ghost of the Asylum that's the URL to the poem :) have a blessed afternoon my friend. Kindred poet :)

[Ryan Henderson]

I love the dark mood of this piece! I like the dreary, gloomy imagery and tone that you have set in this piece! I like the horror genre, you have done a very nice job with this poem! Very good flow and word choice!

The party ended with screams of pain
The man who was as quiet as a mouse lashed out in hate
Everyone in the hotel were slain
The lives of everyone were ended by the twist of fate

-That is my favourite part! Keep writing!

[Bluefire]

"Well, she's not bleeding on the ballroom floor just for the attention 'cause that's just ridiculously odd."~
This made me think of The Haunted Mansion in a way.
Quite a ride.
Well done. ^^

[Heaven]

I love dark poems and this filled me with delight! I love the way you make the words flow. Love it! Love it! Love it! Definitely plan on reading more of you. :-)

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Thanks :D I'm so glad you liked it ^*^

[Gabby Nieves]

And the twist of fate is quite the f****r I must say. Powerful poem, nice job.

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Thank you kindly :) I'm glad you liked it

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

Wow, this was amazing. I loved it, nicely written. :-)

Kaze~

[ms. barrie]

wow this is incredibly macabre! felt like I was watching an episode
of one of the investigation discovery channel shows with the
late great Vincent Price narrating this. stunning imagery, rhyme
and meter. most enjoyable! brilliantly penned!
thank you for sharing! :)))

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Ahhhh Vincent :3 I can sound exactly like him, so I may make a narration video :3

[ms. barrie]

sounds like a plan! would love to hear it...and you're very welcome! :)))

[priya]

the very nature of fate is to be illegal. no one knows what will happen of them the very next moment. your poem has a deep connection with mystery.
keep it up. :)

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

I'm so glad you like it :) Feel free to review more :)

[priya]

sure. i would love to read your poems :)

[Matching Socks]

Interesting take on fate.
We always romanticize it...
But it can be evil and dark as you've shown here
Good work!

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

:) I'm so glad you liked it. You know some of my friends who have read this said it feels like their in the 50's..... that's the era I was having in my mind while writing it but never mentioned it once...... I find that sort of creepy lol, am I that good of a writer ^*^

[Matching Socks]

Lol. Well, I think it does have the feel of Carrie and The Shining. :)

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

O_____O I was listening to the song playing in the bar in the shining while writing it lol

[Kyori Kia]

Dark as it may be. Sometimes that's where the light shines. It is indeed a good poem. great job.

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Thank you so much :) I'm glad you liked it

[Violet Stone]

That... was... AWESOME!!! Totally loved it, easy to read and flowed very nicely! :) Keep up the fabulous work!

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Thank you so much :3 I'm so glad you liked it ^*^

[Violet Stone]

You're welcome and I more than liked it, I LOVED it! :3

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

>^**^< dawww :///3

[Violet Stone]

TeeHee C//X