My dark Wonderland

 I run through what seems to be an endless maze

      Card guards chasing me with blood dripping from their lips

  I look in the sky and the moon is covered by an eclipse

     The maze suddenly grows bright in a blaze.

     Now I seem to be at a mad tea party

 But instead of tea there's vats of acid 

     The clock seems to be spinning more rapid

  It all melts away, the clock is now at Twelve forty

I'm now in a garden of mushrooms oh so tall

  Smoke rises up till its out of reach 

The Caterpillar transforms with a screech 

  I trip back and hit my head with a fall

I awake in my bed in a white room

  It has drawings all around, some happy, some sad

 Am I really this mad

  I can still smell the smell of the mushrooms

Author's Note

Again, this was based on a dream I had last night, thats why its so off the wall, hope everyone likes it

Reviews

[Tatiana Casali]

Well since it was a dream I give it a 5/10. I say this because the last stanza bothered me. I have a pet peeve when I see two words being used twice in a sentence. But overall I did somewhat see myself as you the dream. Next time be more descriptive.

positive: I did like the colors you used in the sentences. I also like alice in wonderland :)

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Well thanks lol I feel like as I'm writing more of these I'm getting worse :/ but oh well, atleast I'm trying

[Tatiana Casali]

Your not a bad writer at all. If anything your amateur. Im sure with practice and reading books you'll get to where you want to be. How about writing your feelings. Theres an idea.

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

I might, I'll try it :)

[Tatiana Casali]

You should. I can't wait to feel what you feel. Remember to stay genuine and honest about how you feel. Don't just make up stuff unless your good at it then by all means. But I prefer real geniune emotion.

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

:) For you i'll do it, it might help my chest stop hurting

[Tatiana Casali]

I'm sure it'll make you feel better love.

[Debbie_Philly]

This is beautiful !! I could see and feel the Wonderland as I read.... just amazing !!

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Thank you so much ^*^ I'm so glad you liked it

[Savannah Bly]

This was crazy and mad in all its good forms. The style of write was wonderful and creepy with the descriptive word choice you used. It felt like it was a nightmare coming from a movie. This was really good!! :)

Awesome job!

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Thank you so much ^*^ I'm so glad you liked it

[Warr;or]

I tried giving it a 110 out of 100 but sadly they wouldn't let me do that, great writing. Keep it up.

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Thank you :) I'm glad you liked it

[Kryptonite120613]

This is the craziest thing I have ever read but I loved it

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

lol thanks, I'm glad you liked it :)

[Decere Tiozon]

I bow down to your great talent. Thank you for restoring my hope for future writers.

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

You are so welcome ^-^ Writing is my greatest passion, especially poetry, read my other works if you like :) I'm so glad you liked it

[Decere Tiozon]

I shall. Poetry is quick and easy . . . compared to longer stories. Although I feel as if I take much deeper thought in my poetry process than other types of writing, short stories are for me.

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

I love poetry, its the best way to pour out your soul ^*^

[Characters Blog 101]

Groovy colours and pretty interesting poem! :) The last verse I think could be worked a little more on, but other than that nice work!

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Thanks :) I'm glad you liked it, feel free to read more of my work :)

[Aethereal]

I liked all those dream verses written in rainbow colors, but your colors should have been arranged as they are in a rainbow from red to violet. Here you are both in Wonderland, and Over the Rainbow on the other side of Kansas. You’re both Alice and Dorothy, both down the rabbit hole and in Munchkin land. When you travel through mazes, sometimes you run into a Minotaur.

[Kaitlyn]

Very interesting. :)

I enjoyed the 'twisted wonderland' theme, and I really liked the multicolored sentences (it's very befitting for wonderland).

I've tried basing a few poems off of dreams that I've had, but I've never been happy with the outcome. This, on the other hand, was incredibly enjoyable.

Keep up the good work!

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Thank you so much :) I'm so glad you liked it.

[Zahra]

Enjoyed it, nicely described, nice imagery. Amazing

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Thank you :) Im glad you liked it

[For Who I Am]

I loved the way it leaves suspense! You should add more to it next time!

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

:) I'm glad you liked it and I will