The price of my tears

 I pace the bedroom floor looking for escape

   But none comes to my rescue

 All i have is heartache to accompany me

  This is when my memories take shape.

The death of a loved one comes first

  Tearing into my heart faster and deeper

Next comes the constant torment by the bullies

  Why is it that I am so cursed

The tears run down my cheeks and burn all the way

   The pain of true loves first break-up

All tearing my heart to shreds 

   My whole life seems to decay

The pain gets worse and worse, stabbing like a dagger

   My life seems to flash before my eyes as I scream

All the lights go dark, and it seems no one is home

  All I can do is stumble through my life and shatter to pieces.

Author's Note

Not a good day :(

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

The title of this piece caught my attention, but the raw, dark, pain is what kept me here... Very powerful write and I have to say-the ending is my favorite....

"All the lights go dark, and it seems no one is home
All I can do is stumble through my life and shatter to pieces."--- I know what that feels like and love the beautiful way you expressed it... Chin up! May have been an awful day but an amazing write came from it:)

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Thank you so much :) I'm so glad you liked it

[AprilRN1210]

You're very welcome!

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

I hope read more of my work :)

[AprilRN1210]

I plan on it:)

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

:) YAY! :)

[song writer]

The emotion I get from this is sad it also kinda reminds me of some of the old poems one of my friends on here wrote you should read some of his stuff his name on here is John Ryan.

[Savannah Bly]

Very powerful and beautiful. It is weirdly fascinating how our nightmares and/or memories are often painfully beautiful and sad at the same time. Great job!

[Kim]

I was really moved... Its a heavy poem that manages to put words to a dark moment, which isn't an easy thing to do
Its a good structure and I like how you portray and express the emotion...
With that said, I hope you feel better soon :)

[Madalyn Beck]

A painful write, here. Heartache is the most debilitating pain of all. Well written! (:

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

I'm glad you liked it :)

[Vian]

"All i have is heartache to accompany me," "The pain of true loves first break-up" I do not care how bad your day was it does not excuse you from capitalization and apostrophes. 'I' you are a capital 'i' unless you make it style and make all of your 'I' lower case. Secondly it is your true love's(possessive) first break up not plural loves. Now that I'm done that rant I can tell you that I love your feeling words. 'stabbing like a dagger' is good. I like the sudden sharp pain it portrays. I like the burn of the tears and the search for escape from your own bedroom. I hope I'm not being too mean, or at least it's been long enough since your bad day so I'm not pouring salt on your wounds. I liked your poem, I liked the shape of the stanzas, well done. Thank you for writing. I liked your feeling, even if it hurt you at the time, I hope you enjoy the fruits of your pain, I did.

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

I understand completely, I honestly thought I capitalized them. I'm glad you liked it :)

[Vian]

I feel like I was too harsh, please accept my apologies. I do like your poem and you portrayed your pain well. I just have a tendency to look at the emotions from a literary and fictional standpoint rather than remembering that there are people behind them. Please keep writing and improving. Beautiful writing!

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

lol don't be sorry, honestly I understand. I love getting feedback like this. And feel free anytime to review my works, it helps :)

[Bowers]

This is incredibly deep, I love the idea behind it, the feelings your are portraying, a very heartfelt, emotional piece, I truly love each and every longing word... You have much talent :D

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Thank you very much :) I'm glad you liked it

[Bowers]

:) you are very welcome!

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

Such a emotional poem, and I can relate to it. But just remember, when ever you think nothing can get any worse; good always comes around the corner. Just hang in there. :-)

Kaze~

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Thank you so much for that :) I just sometimes feel like its all for nothing, ya know :( but I'll take your advice into consideration :)

[♔ CrownedDevil ☾]

:-)

It's not a very nice feeling, alone, and y feel many other feelings too. Don't forget your friends are here for you (including me). :-)

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

:) That means so much :) I'm glad to hear that

[♔ CrownedDevil ☾]

:-) :-D :-)

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

:) I'm glad to have you as a friend

[♔ CrownedDevil ☾]

Same. :-) :-D

[Margo Seuss]

Hang in there my friend!! Lovely expression!

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

:) thank you so much, it helps :)

[Ravyne Hawke]

This a painful poem to read, knowing that heartache is center-stage. I like the rhythm of this and although your rhyme works in the first three stanzas, you break the pattern with the last one. The first and last lines do not rhyme.. (staggered? instead of "and shatter to pieces" ..closer to a rhyme) It is a minor thing but it may annoy die-hard rhymers.

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Thank you :) I'm sorry for the non rhyme, I just was focusing on my feelings.

[Ravyne Hawke]

ahhh.. well sometimes that makes for interesting poetry... I just saw a pattern and ran with it. No need to apologize

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

Ok :) it would throw someone off

[Ravyne Hawke]

bleh.. who am I to say.. I don't even care for rhyming poetry.. lol... you did great though relating your feelings

[Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot]

no I love that gave me critisism, it really helps :) and I thank you, I just havent been having a very good weekend, so it all came out into this