Troublesome Love

There I lay, in the middle of July. Night was crawling around the Arkansas countryside. Cicadas chirping their evening songs, but I take no notice. I just lied on the bed in my grandmother's house. I had quite a day and was glad to keep quiet for a while. The day was nice, or as nice as a summer day, temperatures up to what felt like 120 degrees. It was probably only 97, but what it felt like was nothing good. Earlier, I was outside with my summer friends, Elijah, Haylee, and Nate. They're siblings, and always arguing.

 I was older than all of them. Elijah, by a year; Haylee by 3, and Nate by 6 years. I naturally liked Elijah and Haylee more because they were closer to my age, but Nate was sometimes more fun then Elijah and Haylee combined because he was that much younger. Haylee I liked because she was a girl, and sometimes I was just wanting to have girls around. Elijah, on the other hand... What can I say about him? He was funny, not very smart, but smart enough for a to-be sixth grader. I was going into the eighth grade. He was active in sports. He got bored easily, so it was up to my imagination to get a game to play. Some days it was easy, sometimes it was hard. 

But the summer was winding to an end. It was almost time to go back to Houston, Texas. Houston was where I lived, not Arkansas. I visit my grandmother during the summers, and went to a Turkish-run school during the school year. I hated the school, but I can't stand the public schools I would otherwise go into. The thought made me shudder, so I turned around, slowly falling asleep. 

That was five months ago. Now its November, and my friends at school are better than the previous years. I had Ayesha, Alex, Niya, and Autumm as friends. Ayesha had been my friend since 6th grade, but loosely then. She was my best friend this year and last year. Alex was my new friend, but I've loosely known of him since the 5th grade. He easily makes me laugh though. He's really nice. Niya is mad at me now, but I still try to say that she's my friend. Autumm is an odd fellow. She funny, but on her own, has her own unique personality. Nothing words can explain, she's that different. Well, those are my friends, that is until recently.

 Alex asked me out about 2 weeks ago, after his girlfriend broke up with him. When he asked me, I was a little slow in my reply, trying to figure out if I should go with him or wait further for Elijah. I took about five minutes, but it felt like hours. He asked me if I was there, and I finally said yes, but only because I couldn't break his heart. Not after he was broken over his previous. 

Then school turned to hell. In all the excitement of winter break, my friend Niya and I grew further and further distant, until one final break on the 6th of December. I was sad after, but somewhat, wierdly, glad. Why was I glad that it was done, that she wasn't my friend? I still don't know to this day. At least I had Alex, my boyfriend. Unfortunately, because of what grade he was in, 10th, I never saw him. Only online did we ever talk. It still lingered in my head, should I wait until Elijah asked me, or should I stay with Alex, and forget about getting Elijah to ask me? I figured it won't be much harm to stay with Alex, and if Elijah actually does ask me, I'll have to say I'm taken. I'd hate to say that, but it is true. Now I'm taken, now I'm with Alex, no longer single. 

But the thought troubled me. I'll have to figure a way out. I'll have to find a way to get Alex to hate me, or at least disgust him enough to break up with me so I won't have to deal with it. Then, if Elijah did asked me out, I'll be able to say yes. Why do I remain hopeful? That question never gets answered. 

I knew that Elijah would probably like to be with someone who's always in Arkansas, not someone who's probably once a year, 3 months at a time, like me. So, with that equation, my chances were most likely limited. I could day-dream about it forever, but that would never be true, no matter how much I wished it was true.

So, I finally decided that Alex would be better. He beat Elijah to it, therefore, he's the winner. For now.

Author's Note

Not my best.