Are You Looking For A Mate?

A RHYME, done just for FUN, And to music, it can be sung (Think of Johnny Cash singing "A Boy Named Sue")

Looking For A Mate?

By Ralph Proenza

(Can be sung to MUSIC in 4/4 time)

 

I know a girl; her name is Sue,

With hair like sunshine, eyes of blue.

A prettier girl could not be found

Any place -- all around.

 

There is one thing -- forgot to mention,

The only item in contention:

Packed tobacco in her jaw.

Yes, a great big lump right in her craw.

 

We’re not all perfect, as you know,

But she can cook, and she can sew.

Just see her beauty, it ain’t no sin,

You’ll forget that brown juice down her chin.

 

Now she’s got a sister who’s a psycho,

But she doesn’t like nor chews tobacco.

You can meet her for a date…

Now, don’t say NO, and don’t debate.

 

 

There is one thing -- forgot to mention,

The only item in contention:

Is her annoying BURPING sound

That can be heard for miles around!

 

Now SHE’S got a cousin, just as cute.

Looking at her you’d give a hoot!

She likes music and can sing.

And can YODEL most anything.

 

There is one thing -- forgot to mention,

The only item in contention:

She’s dim-witted -- not too SMART.

She’ll eat some beans and LOUDLY -- wellll…you know…

 

You can imagine the rest of the story,

I don’t want to seem too gross or gory,

But her personality does excel

If you don’t mind the extra smell.

 

About these girls, that’s all I’ll say.

To hear some more, you’ll have to pay.

If you’re ready to take the bait,

Just call me, I’ve got your MATE!

   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

Okay Okay, you don’t have to pay.

I was just kidding, so this I will say.

That girl I first mentioned, the one named Sue,

Is a passionate sort, and ‘loves’ on cue.

 

On your back, she may leave some scratches

When she hugs and tightly attaches.

She’s  smokin’ hot and can so heat up,

And cling to you like a suction cup.

 

For your stamina you’ll need some pills,

Because her lips will give you chills.

Now, some oysters, might be of some help

And also ointment for that purple whelp.

 

So this girl, the one named Sue

You know, the one that likes to ‘chew’

I was hoping,  you she’d really please

Because she comes with no guarantees!

Author's Note

Humor is "like a medicine." I threw this in just to lighten the seriousness of some who pass through this venue.

Reviews

[Tara Prudden]

:) This is the one that got me hooked. Very well written, I love it.

[Ralph Proenza (Docralph)]

HaHa! This is almost embarrassing. I wrote it for my brother-in-law.

[Tara Prudden]

Well, it works

[Lyn Anderson]

well, that was an interesting departure. Been marinating so long in sappy love poetry I thought I'd take a break.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

figures, you would throw us a teaser, just enough to get us interested...and then the inevitable catch...to know we have to pay....so part two of the poem cost how much?'
thanks for the smile on this dreary Saturday, Ralph.
j.