End of things, beginning of things

Short essay-commentary piece on things changing

My son graduated high school. I ran out of school aged children. It is definitely the end of something, but it is also the beginning of something, too.

Part of the end is an end to old reliances; those things and people you had grown accustomed to seeing and being around. My son is going through that now. He still works out with the high school strength and conditioning crew, coaching up the freshmen and JV athletes, setting the pace for level of effort, and still having conversations with the coaches. It is his “last moments” time with his past. Mentally coming to the recognition that his friends, acquaintances, and familiar surroundings will not be following him to university. Little does he know right now, he has just grown up a bit more.

My life at the same age was an escape from expectation and a continuance of chasing after a good time. Effectively, I wasted 18 months carousing, drinking, socializing old school, and dancing my way through it all. Yes, I used to dance and dance well. I also gave up on it, too. I was more like a Gene Kelly characture, “Gotta dance!” being my mantra. I stopped, altogether too many serious and pretentious women. All I wanted was to have fun and dance.  And, in that same time I met some great people who have influenced me decades after having known them. Having met them and having known them helped me grow up a bit more. I did not know it at the time. I was in pursuit of “fun”.

My son will leave his home of so many years, not to escape as I did, but to chase a God-given dream. He will find life away, on his own, is not exactly like books and movies portray it to be. He will be alone with his own decisions for the first time, and they will be his to make. Mistakes will be made. Wrong things will be said. Corrections will be made. And he will learn about life along with organic chemistry and Calculus II.

The harsh ending to an era will be walking into a room devoid of clothes but still full of pictures, toys, and memorabilia collected over years. And the sounds of his presence will be missing. The reassuring glance from my peripheral vision that my son is nearby and I am still in over-watch, covering him. The quick and easy conversation to share something we might think was nifty or cool or funny. Those could still happen. It is just the point of reference has changed and time will dilute the poignancy. All this for me does not compare to the ending my wife must feel and will feel always.

A baby boy no longer needs his nose wiped or breakfast made or have the need for mom’s assuring coddle. A grown, young man was dropped off at unversity, and a mom had to walk away leaving her baby boy to someone else’s care. It matters little to her that she is one of thousands of moms doing the same thing. It only matters that he is her baby boy being left behind. Surely, a sense of abandonment and that she must be doing something wrong permeates every thought.

It has come upon us, the empty nest. Too soon, I think. Too soon. With inadequate words and sentiment my father and mother walked out this moment with me. After graduating high school, I received a handshake and a “well done”; along with the best advice he knew, “Get a good trade.” A man of few words of sentiment, at the end of his life he called me to let me know he had always loved me. I realized only after he hung up that he was saying good bye. It was three weeks or so later that he passed away. I had the privilege to preach his funeral. I have often told my son I love him, and a few times the reasons why. I did not want my son to ever be in doubt about that, nor wait until the end of my life to hear it from me.

My son is embarking on a grand adventure; an adventure with God. My son chose the school, turned down a really good opportunity, because this school put Jesus first, and that is more important to him. All of his friends who had considered the same school have now chosen other schools. He is off on this adventure much like Jacob and God; just them two. It is a new beginning for my son. He will face all of life’s challenges; not alone but with God. If we did our jobs well as parents, he should be well equipped for most challenges. Those that are unique to him and his life’s walk, he and God will have to address.

So, there is an end to some things. Our relationship as parent to child will morph to adult to adult, and prayerfully, from parent to friend… okay, I am his dad. I will continue to advise where and when I can. And, that is part of the new beginning, too. We will cultivate while we can our family bond, our parent-child relationship, and our fondness for each other. I moved 1200 miles from my parents and saw them very little after that. Where will life take our young man? We will have to wait and see.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading the piece. I appreciate you and any comments.
Cheers!
Doc.

Reviews

[Tate Morgan]

You and i are both goin through this and i have to say it shook me to the core But I did what i thought best and taught him all i could