I Am Alone

Musing some things, thought of this and thought I would let it play

Looking up from my work I see
No friends to call, it's just me
No work to share in revelry
No tears to wipe, no not me

Isolation is my dwelling place
No other's voice, no smiling face
No ears to hear my words of grace
No human noise, no not a trace

Work needing done, I'm all alone
No hands to help, hope is gone
No shoulders to bear, a job for one
No ears to hear "This day is done."

Energy spent, I bear this weight
No partners, no friends, I hesitate
No one coming, "It's just me," I state
No meaning, no reason I speculate

Endless wanting, endless need
No assistance with planting seed
No encouraging word, no shared deed
No supporting touch, no emotions freed

The morning rises, it's a new day
No reason to get up, I should stay
No reason not to, bills to pay
No queries of me, just "Need this some way."

Visions of more play through my head
No resources, these visions seem dead
No help from this person to whom I"m wed
No cries from me, it's as if I'm dead

Waiting and waiting, there must be an end
No thing received, all things I send
No questions asked, my will must bend
No opportunity given, only my hope they rend

Words like glass, too easily shattered
No hearing ears, as if it mattered
No hope remaining, all is tattered
No fame, no fortune, deceiving lips only flattered

So, I press, I press, I move forward again
No help expected, to seek hope is vain
No bigger picture, my part not plain
No greater lot in life, can I get off this train?
 

Reviews

[Helen Woodward]

Doc, I read this title on Chloe's page in a comment from you and had to read it...not sorry I did!
I understand the kind of pain and isolation you feel, though yours is a little different to mine as I have lost my true love to sudden heart attack and you seem to have lost yours through separation of a different type. Nonetheless the feeling is the same. The aloneness is devastating and although people try to be of some help its the closeness that's gone, seemingly never to return.
It's like you're running on empty...devastating!
Cheers
Helen.

[Vanessa Whiteley]

I like the rhyme scheme in this - a differing one for each stanza. It flows beautifully and the repetition of no to commence the lines is effective. You convey the isolation of the persona well.

[TL Boehm]

OOPS I got a ticket on this train too. Disclaimer: love the fam - I do - but sometimes the greatest interference comes from those closest - when conversations are reduced to "did you pay that bill" after you come home from your numbing day job - your heart spilling over with stories and words - and they roll their eyes when you sit at the computer 'wasting time and playing' - and you wonder why God created you with a passion for something that people pass off as "only a dream" it grates.
So that's my visceral response. As for the technical aspects of this piece - I loved the ryhme scheme. So many valid points in this one. That feeling of loneliness is palpable. It is wonderfully crafted and right on point.

[Red Raven]

This is such a sad poem. It makes me feel so empty while i go through it. Loneliness can really matted ur soul but its not you. You showed that you tried to reach out. Its the ignorant human beings that never preserve to know what real frenship and life means. But still you hold on because its a one way track friend...its a one way track.

'Words like glass, too easily shattered
No hearing ears, as if it matterd
No hope remaining, all is tattered
No fame, no fortune, deceving lips only flattered '
- This is such a powerful say. In such a brief words you have given the message.
Thank you for giving me a chance to read it.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

This is a somewhat sad poem.
Acutaully it is sad.. not somewhat.. i am thinking of all the people who live with me and sometimes what you described sounds nice.. to be alone.. but when i al alone i am lonely so i can relate to the poem..

Had a very nice flow..The line ..No greater lot in life, can I get off this train?
Clever line..


Chloe
xoxo