The Modern Day Sage

Part 1: Grasping Towards Enlightenment

What have I learned in these past five years.

 

For someone who really doesn’t believe in God in the typical sense, I truly feel blessed, but then again, I’ve always felt that I was one of his favorites. One thing I’ve come to understand about the worldly view of God is that he has given us all free will, the ability to make our own decisions of our own volitions. If this concept is widely accepted across most religions, then I think it stands to be a fair assessment that being a decent human being and choosing not to believe is something that he’d understand. If our reflections were born from his likeness, then this shouldn’t even be a debate, but of course, I say that extremely loosely.

 

I find religion to be one of the most peculiar and interesting topics I’ve attempted to understand in my adult life. It’s quite frightening to know that wars are fought against one another over which cause is the most just and right. Such a topic can not be proven to be right or wrong. In the end, all those who fight in those wars are simply trying to project what they feel to be true upon others. I realize it isn’t as simple as I am putting it, but my pride will not give me an inch on this matter. This way of forcing ideals on to others through war is disgusting. Perhaps this way is easier than trying to understand someone else's background and views. Regardless, it’s heartbreaking. We are all so very different, and yet, we are the same. We have been molded, shaped, and born into the light of free will. We are all different from every single person we encounter, even so, we long to bridge that gap of our differences to relate, sadly, often by poor and drastic means. This struggle of humanity is seemingly unyielding. I wonder when the day will come when we grasp this folly and break these bonds.

 

Looking at the world we live in today, it becomes ever more apparent that we may never be able to accomplish such a feat.

 

If this world is to end someday, it will surely be at the hands of mankind and it’s conflictions.

 

It’s not that I don’t have hope for the future, but when faced with today’s very blunt realities and the realization that there is next to nothing I can effectively do against the issues, it’s just exhaustingly depressing. So depressing that I can see the end of it all. The burden of knowledge I suppose. Now all I’m left with again are questions. What was it all for? Why did we really exist? Was it all some big mistake?

 

I guess what I’ve really learned is that speculations will always exist. More questions than answers no matter how old I get.

 

I suppose I should be grateful, no?

 

If all my questions were to be answered, then what would be the point in thinking, hell, what would be the point in even existing. With this finite life we have been given we might as well be thinking of different ways to live, well thrive. I keep forgetting that anyone can live these days. We have to make the most of our lives anyway we can before time consumes us whole.

 

As blessed as I feel, there is always a feeling of emptiness inside. I think, I write, I ramble and yet I am nowhere near closer to understanding the reasoning behind my existence, our existence. In truth, I never thought I’d find all the answers I’m searching for, but a clue, something to help me see the direction I’m taking is the one less traveled and one worth continually marching on.

 

lol. I can only blame myself for this added stress. As I have said before, I don’t particularly like people, and yet, I’m obsessed with their logic and reasonings as to why they do the things they do. I haven’t found any real answers as of yet.

 

Could it potentially mean that one’s life has no meaning…

 

But that wouldn’t make any sense to that individual, nor the lives that person has affected in some way.

 

 

How exciting it is to stumble into a theory! But could it really be the simple? Is this an answer I’ve been looking for?

 

Seldom do I have revelations in my writing, but I suppose this short story I’m attempting to write is nothing but things I’ve learned while forging my own path over these past 5 years; my revelations.

 

Anywho, this concludes part one.

 

 

Long Live the Honorable Ruler.