Longevity

A had a very serene state of mind when writing this. Goes to show that Ludovico Einaudi makes for great thinking music (Divenire album) I hope you enjoy it.

I dreamt  of being immortal. A being no longer was bound to other humans. A being standing on the edge of life and death, or rather, standing right in the middle. 

It's a bit ironic I want to live forever and watch humanity's march into the future unfold before me. I don't particularly like people, but I obsess over their actions and reasonings behind what they do, no matter how foolish and ignorant it may be. Humans are strangely astounding in that way. But where they shine the most is in their struggles. Gluttons for punishment and borderline masochists they are. Is it simply in their nature to want to except dangerous paths that could ultimately lead to their downfall? 

It can't be. No..of course it isn't. There is something more to this, an innate struggle that flows deeper that what can be observed. 

Often in my writing I find myself saying the same thing over and over again. I feel the greatest failure of humanity is the inability to truly understand one another, but I have only been alive for 26yrs, surely others have come before me and drawn such conclusions. So why haven't we fixed this damning flaw? Maybe because we aren't fully evolved and we simply need more time to grow and develop a higher level of perception. Or maybe this is our limit and we are but upright walking beasts destined to never change beyond this point. Or maybe it's fear. We are afraid to understand each other. To put yourself in someone else's shoes, someone who speaks differently, eats different food, laughs at the idea of your religion, pities your dreams and aspirations, and looks at you in disgust because of your foundation of morality. They stand against everything you are, everything you believe in. To understand them is to turn your back on everything that makes you, well, you.

Yes. I get it. Seldom do I have revelations in my writing but I understand your fears; I do. I am no God. I am not immortal. I am but a man struggling with you and there is no quick and simple way to put those fears to rest. And yet, I don't care. I am free.

Free to love and hate as I choose. With this freedom I can be anything, a medic, a writer, a lover, a brother, a son, an enemy, and even a friend. The real revelation is that fear is a limitation but freedom is boundless. When speaking about freedom from the heart, there is no end in sight, an infinite horizon not bound to distant shores often comes to mind. So what does it all mean, why do I dream of immortality?

I think it's because I know freedom won't last forever in this human body, and as beautiful as the struggle is to overcome our follies, I can't stand the thought of it ending. I didn't want to make this entry to be about the gloom of how infinite life is, but just like my Concept of God entry, I'm looking to understand myself and this world around me.  I absolutely loathe saying this but I find it so transparent: humans who want to have a place in life need to know their place first. 

What a sad irony lol. I almost feel guilty for readers for turning down the mood the way I have. 

Oh well, I don't write for them, I write for me. I write because I'm not immortal and will most likely never obtain the superpowers or chemical formula to become one, but this is the internet. Here in this place, my words and thoughts are forever...

Reviews

[Jane D]

That was a deep reflection. I enjoyed the truth in your words, and I also do believe that our lack of understanding of one other is rooted in fear.