Eating Disorder

For my friends at Center For Change - Utah. No one understands what we go through.

Seven weeks in a treatment center...

As I watched patients hug their family,

I never even got a letter.

Other girls refused to eat.

A feeding tube down their throat,

As I swallowed my defeat

Or couldn't take it anymore.

I never told a single soul

I acted as if nothing was wrong.

The doctors thought I was fine

So sure I was ready to try alone.

I am here now, writing to you

Because I am weak and hurting

And don't know what else to do.

I eat when I'm not hungry

And I never do what I say I will,

Can't talk about my feelings...

How do I even know if they are real?

My family is completely unaware

And I prefer it that way

I don't need to hear that I am weak

If I do, there'll be hell to pay.

Author's Note

I know the flow feels forced but I needed to say certain things they way they r written.
Be honest, say what you think. I did!

Reviews

[Poetic License]

Wow- Holy chillbumps, Batman. That is just....so freaking exposed and vulnerable. To hell with flow, sister! That is perfect. That is the way the feelings work. This conveys more in what it does not say, in what it does not contemplate, that the words put before the reader. Even the words hold secrets, double meanings, alter egos.

This absolutely made me want to jump out of this chair, through my monitor and hug this person - and if it is written from your true life experience and feelings - consider yourself properly assaulted by an overwhelming dose of love and support.

I have not seen writing this raw, open and unapologetic like this on this site yet. I absolutely love it.

[Jessica Lima]

I wish I could say it wasn't real but it is. Thank You so much for your support, it means a lot. I bet the strong women I met at the center would feel the same.

[Scerina Elizabeth]

*Warm Tight Hugz*
This was truly heart felt and truly deep
*WARM TIGHT HUGZ AGAIN*

[Farhan Shaikh]

Loads of emotions in this poem and everyone loves the emotional writing..
Very good write..loved it and keep writing

[Jessica Lima]

Thank You!!! It means a lot that people are willing to listen without judgment.

[Mr.Writer]

Awe Jessica... this is sad and depressing... it's very well written... I literally cried in the end.. so much pressure to add even though they've already been through hell...
Keep it up, amazing job!

[Jessica Lima]

Aww thanks for the sentiment Mr. writer!!!

[apennylate]

Honestly, did not feel the force on the flow, nor should you feel that way, imo... This was deeply written...

*Other girls refused to eat.
A feeding tube down their throat,
As I swallowed my defeat*

Bravo'... You could not have said things better... Very rawly penned...

[Jessica Lima]

I made quite a few changes, that's why it doesn't sound as forced but nothing is perfect. We always judge our own work so harshly right? :)

Thank You so much for taking the time to review!

[apennylate]

You are most welcome, and I see, and yes... We def' do...

[Richard simpson]

I love it. It's thought provoking and forced but it's written with the guided hand of a true master of words. I like it, my only advice is, taking the writing easily next time don't be so forced into writing. It must come easily to you and should be taken with restraint and strength and forceful thought. It okay if you don't want to take my advice. It's just a suggestion.

[Jessica Lima]

I tried lol. I am having trouble though. maybe I should try free verse for this one. :) thank You so much!!!