The silenced One

I drove for many hours

till I reached the lake

One look at the sky

and I knew it was late.

The water beneath the dock

Was indeed mighty dark

And much like my poems

The water fell flat.

Up above, the moon,

Shared spotlight with the sun

And from below the water-line

I swear I heard a song.

I jump in at last,

A man grabs me fast.

We dance here and there

As my lungs scream for air.

In minutes I am dead,

But somehow I do not care.

I am another silenced one

In love with the moon and sun.

Reviews

[Mr.Writer]

"And much like my poems
The water fell flat."
Flat? I'm not sure what it exactly means :D Hmm... is that a positive or negative thing?
If it's a negative thing, I disagree because I absolutely LOVE your poems! This one was amazing as well, it was very jolly and fun to read! You have a creative mind :)
The ending kinda scared me to be honest :D
The title sounded deadly and when I read it, it was jolly and happy until the end :P
Keep it up!

[Jessica Lima]

It was most definitely a negative thing. Sometimes I read my poems and I feel like quitting. Sometimes I can't even write, what good is a writer that has nothing to say? The girl represents the purity of my love for poetry. And how far she would go to see something beautiful come out of it. But when she lets go and give herself to the art of writing she drowns... It seems like she can't handle it all.

[Mr.Writer]

I absolutely understand the love u have for poetry and it's very beautiful! I think all of the poems you write are written with lots of creativity and love :)

[Jessica Lima]

awee thank you

[Mr.Writer]

No problem :)

[Abhishek Asthana]

nice piece of imagination in this poem, i must say, and that's an only tool for a poet that should be used along with the perfect narrative techniques...and you have done it beautifully here... enjoyed reading it

[Inda]

Not silenced yet thankfully. This is great, the imagery and the flow and i am stating to enjoy your style more and more. You have a great talent for narration and tone.

[Jessica Lima]

I am glad you liked it. It's so hard for me to write something I feel is original. The worst think about reading so much is knowing when your work has been written in a different way before. Breaks my heart really.

[Inda]

Yeah originality is difficult, i think only achieved if you write with honesty, which you do well.

[Cobblestone Traveler]

Well that was refreshing and different! I giggled at the "much like my poems, the water fell flat". Nice dark twist at the end. I enjoyed this piece.

[Jessica Lima]

First of all, cool name! Second of all thank you soooo much! Ill check some of your stuff out later :)

[Farhan Shaikh]

Wow..interesting poem to read It wouldn't bother for me to read it again and again

[Jessica Lima]

Thank You so much! I'm working on my poems you know? its just hard since I hate editing

[Poeticme]

You are the dark princess..lol!!,..this is very beautiful but sad piece,..now I think I will go jump in the water😝...thanks for sharing

Deniid

[Poeticme]

Geez!!..Dennis

[Jessica Lima]

LOL. I see typos bother you too eh? I don't know what happened. I had this beautiful poem in mind about a Moonlit sky, by the time I finished typing the girl had drowned. I let myself space out I guess...

[Poeticme]

It was still interesting nevertheless sweetie

[Poeticme]

And yes they do!!..lol

[Richard simpson]

First the only grammar or spelling error I could find was new when it should be knew with a k. Other than that, it's a wonderful story and a great read. It's nothing like anything I've ever read before. It's awesome.

[Jessica Lima]

Let me go fix that real quick lol *blushes* I hate editing so I tend to just post stuff. Thank You so much!!!

[Mr.Writer]

Awe! I wanted to see the mistake xD

[Mr.Writer]

It indeed was late to see the mistake :P

[Jessica Lima]

LOL. Mr. Writer, I beat you to the punch!

[Mr.Writer]

I know :D Only if I was early...