Acirfa

Origins of a spectrum

Where the love began

Eve and endings

Adam's seedlings

Archetypes of divinity

 

Voices in solitude

Galloping grounds

Swinging limbs

Dancing depths

 

Syria's swimming tides

Nimrods rumbling rocks

Cush's kindred caves

Egypt's golden roots

 

Blinding blades

Embarking escalades

Trembling tirades

Scattered blood

 

Battered love

Fickle fruit

Trivial pursuits

Centuries turned til tired

 

Wearied wicker sticks

Prickly perils by priestly pearls

Plucked up precious stones

Blood baptized in Kingly crimsons

 

Acirfa's menstruals

Almost out of life

Her child's proximate sacrifice

Death doing part

Author's Note

Dig it?

Reviews

[Logan Carryall]

Dig to be dug.
It is incredible in meaning, logical continuations--flow, alliteration.
All of that is at a height. You have nailed the sentiment, which is awfully clever for a piece so contained in it's form. I don't often see the two running parallel, but can we say that it is an earmark of great writing? I believe that is fair to think.
You build on the landscape, to nuance, beyond what makes the land contain heart, to what has cursed the land since the origins of man.
"Where the love began

Eve and endings

Adam's seedlings

Archetypes of divinity"

God do I love a writer who handles in biblical.

Favorite:
"Wearied wicker sticks

Prickly perils by priestly pearls

Plucked up precious stones

Blood baptized in Kingly crimsons"

So between the two stanzas we see what defines, with unity in form, yet separates in action, love and hate.
That is a very profound thing to accomplish, leaving a sense of universal truth (an undeclared cliche' [the thin line between...blah and blah..]) while in literal intent, only characterizing a nations landscape and history. That is the true art in this piece. Overall impressive!

Criticism:
"Acirfa's menstruals

Almost out of life

Her child's proximate sacrifice

Death doing part"

Everything about this stanza screams exemplification, spare the last line. "Death doing part" Seems a callous and minimal remark in regards to how death was subtly mentioned prior. This is why i believe it sounds 'flat' in my opinion. Just that one line. It didn't seem to ring 'true' in the weight of the prior words and imagery. Thats obviously just my opinion. And it is also the only criticism I have.
I find very little to complain about in a piece like this.
One of the best I have come across!!
New favorite.

Thanks
_Logan

[J. Hampton]

"Acirfa" ...that alone would have compelled me to read...

Incredible piece on many levels...
excellent wordplay ... and punchy alliteration
perfect harmony of spiritual and mental arrival !
topshelf flow...


You are obviously well read...too much uncommon knowledge and refrence from scripture
in this not to be...

I not only Love this....
I admire it...

Blesssssssssssssssss

[Emily B]

Niiiiice!!!!!

I like the rhythm of the thing. . .

[Water Blakmon]

Thanks for the love!

[Ankhesen Mié]

Beautiful, cleverly written, and easy to read. Somewhat cryptic in parts, which is good for all writing forms.

[Anarda Nashai]

I really do!!! This is one that I would love to hear read aloud in a lounge. Great work!!!!!

-Anarda Nashai
author of Despondent
Check out my website at:
www.anardanashai.webs.com

[Tovli]

dug it! it would be awesome to hear it spoken--i imagine its sound to be like drums; short blasts of music, like heart beats. great piece. tovli