A Night For Beginnings

A young man and woman on a romantic date night.

"Yeah, I love you too.  I'll see you in the morning."  I said to my dad, who was on his way to work.  My father was a State Corrections Officer, and he works the graveyard shift.  This works out perfectly.  He grabs his keys off of the hook on the wall beside the door and turns towards me.

"I love you sweetie."  He hugs me tight.  "Be careful, and lock the door."

"Yes sir."  He leaves, getting into his truck and driving away.  I peer out of the window to make sure he actually leaves and does not come back.  At last, the headlights are gone.  I run upstairs and into my bedroom.  I put on, the white bikini and blue jean shorts that my daddy says I shouldn't wear.  Next, I grab the navy silk blanket on my bed and pillow to match.  Everything has got to be perfect.  I haul everything downstairs, where I plop it in the middle of the living room floor.

I trace my steps to the huge kitchen and I notice my hands shaking as the hours draw longer into the night.  At ten o'clock, my dad calls to let me know he has made it to work.  That is my cue.  Retrieving the lighter from the kitchen drawer, I take it, the blanket, and the pillow outside into the night,  Even the earth seems like it is holding its breath.  The wind is calm and the frogs are silent.  The moon is full and white, casting a silver shadow over everything.  I bask in its light, taking in its tranquil vibe.  The light plays with the pool water, turning it into a small lake of liquid platinum.  Going over to the screened in porch that is separate from the house, I throw everything but the lighter down.  I sigh.  Tonight is the night for beginnings.

Next week is graduation.  I've put up with eighteen years of school, and have to go through more if I want to go to college.  But I refuse t think about that right now.  Tonight is about Ryan and me.  Us.  I light the tiki torches, creating a soft glow that mixes in with that of the moon.  They exist together, one in themselves.  Fire and ice, heat and cold, balancing each other out.  They are like soul mates, those two, always there for each other. It is when the moon is out and the fire is glowing, that true love can happen.  With the moon full and the flames of love rising, it is a night of possibilities.  Of magic.

I am looking up at the moon when I feel arms slide around my waist.  I know those arms, that body, anywhere.  It is Ryan.  I feel his breath on my neck, warm and comforting.  It calmed my nerves, but hitches my breathing.  He holds me close, my back to his chest.  All I have on is the bathing suit top, which means I can feel his bare chest.  It is warm against my suddenly cold skin.  His lips touch my neck, just where my shoulder and it meets.  I know then and there, that I am ready.  This is the man I trust with my very life.  Stranger as this may sound, he knows more about me than my very own father.  I then feel his lips in my light brown hair, and I feel that, for me, all is right in the world.

"You're like a goddess, beautiful and unique you know my very thoughts, you make me weak.  In my dreams, you are always there, so much love and trust, in those times we share.  You invade my thoughts, my mind, and all.  Faster my heart races and deeper I fall."  He turns me around to face him.  He holds my hands in his, intertwining his fingers with mine.  Like the moon and the fire, we were one together.  My cold to his hot.    I lock my emerald green eyes onto his sapphire ones, and the rest of the world melts away.  "No price can compare to the value I would give.  You are the life force the drive me, all the days that I live.  I crave to hold you, feel warmth in your embrace.  My heart races wildly, at your faces simple trace." 

I watch the lights play in his eyes, staring up at him with so much love and understanding; I do not even know how to get it out.  Suddenly, the night is alive with life.  Frogs and crickets sing in the night, surrounding up with a melody only nature can create.  Gently, Ryan releases one of his hands up caress my face, from temple to jaw.  I turn into it, it touch inviting.  I reach up with my own free hand and hold his to my face, touching my lips to his palm.  I hear him sigh, a sounds that seems in itself, one with me, because at that same moment, I sigh with him.

"Ryan."  I whisper, pulling him into my arms. He is nervous.  I can tell.  He has told me before that he has had sex before, but because I am still a virgin, for some reason it scares him to death.  It cannot be different than his first time.  Once again, those feelings build up, but this time I cannot hold them in.  Laughter escapes my throat, filling the night with more music.  Ryan pulled me back and gives me a strange look.  I just smile at him, shaking my head.  I reach up and softly touch his lips with mine, breathing in his scent, a warm smell that reminds me of summer trail rides through the forest.

"Dixie."  He murmurs against my lips, soft as butterfly kisses.  He smiles against them.  I run my hands up his chest before sliding my arms around his neck.  He rewraps his around my waist, bringing up together, smoothly, he swings us into a waltz that could rival a professionals.  His mother had made him take dancing lessons when he was a kid, as a form of punishment.  As result, he was picked on throughout elementary and middle school.  Then I arrived in high school, our freshman year.  I was the newbie, the one no one wanted to hang out with because she did not have the right clothes or the perfect hair.  Ryan had remained the outcast.  I guess when I got there, the others found someone else to pick on, because suddenly all of the girls wanted to date him.  He was handsome, and I was lucky to have him.

Every girl dreams of the perfect boyfriend, of wanting him for her.  For me, that dream came true.  I have my very own prince charming.  His black hair is slightly shaggy, hanging over his collar when he has a shirt on.  Then there is those bright blue eyes that are so full of life, but then so full of hurt.  There have been times in the past when that nearly broke us up, and on one occasion it actually happened.  His mother had pulled him out of the school for something about his past and his father.  I guess the old saying "if you love something, let it go.  If it does not come back to you, it was never yours in the first place.  If it does, then it is always yours to keep" it true.  Two months later, sophomore year, he came back to Tate.

I am so caught up in the past that I had no idea that we have stopped dancing.  When I open my eyes and bother to focus on something other than him, I see that we are standing by the screen door to the porch.  He is looking towards it, an empty expression on his face.  He is thinking very hard.

"Ryan."  I call his name.  He takes no notice.  I hate the way he looks, like something is causing him pain.  I reach my hand up and cup his face, bringing it towards my own.  His blue eyes are troubled.  Grabbing his hand, I lead him over to the door and inside.  He is tense, and I dislike that to a great extent.  I sit down on the swing, pulling him down with me.  "What's wrong?"  I ask.  He is still not looking at me or acknowledging my voice.  "Talk to me, please, Ryan.  You’re troubled about something.  Hurt.  I don't know.  Did I do something to make you-"

That got a reaction out of him.  He jerks his face down to mine, gripping my fingers tighter.  "No, baby!"  He shouts.  There was a sudden rage in his face that I have never seen before.  He calms  down and puts his forehead to mind, peering deep into my eyes.  He looks as if he is looking for something.  "It is not you.  You have not done anything wrong, love."

He wraps me up in a hug and I lay my head on his chest.  "Then what is wrong Ryan.  I don't like to see you hurt."

"I know."  He rubs my lower back below the bathing suit strap. It clicks in my mind that I have not gone swimming yet.  I push it out for later.  This is more important.  "I..."

I get up.  "C'mon."  I say, laying down on the blanket.  He gives me a bewildered look and I now have an idea on what is bothering him. “We don’t have to do anything. Please, Ryan, just come here.”

He gets down on the blanket with me.   He lays on his back, and I on his chest, listening to the sounds of each other and the night. Finally he speaks.  “Dixie,” he says.

“Yeah?” I murmur.

“There is something that has been bothering me actually.” He takes a deep breath, building up what it is that he is about to say. He is quiet for a moment. “We have known each other for four years now, haven’t we?”

I prop myself up on my elbow, curious as to what he has to say. “Yes.”

“And we have been going out for all those four years.” He takes the hand I am not using and kisses it gently. My heart feels as if it is about to pound out of my chest. His blue eyes lock on mine again. “I love you, Dixie Carnley.”  My breath catches in my throat as he slips something on my finger.  “Will you marry me?”

I am shocked into silence. I stare there, wide eyed. Everything seems louder and brighter. The sunlight rising over the horizon is like a beacon in a storm. I can hear the grating of the garage doors coming open as my dad gets home from work. Time has really flown.

I came into this night, preparing to come out of it no longer a virgin. Now I am starting a life, still a virgin, but now a fiancé. I hear daddy coming through the house and then out of the back door. He is coming towards the screen.

“Dixie, I got your note. What are you doing sleeping out here. In. The…” He slows down when he spots Ryan. Then I remember that he is still waiting for my answer.

With my overly protective father watching, I leap forward and wrap my arms around Ryan’s neck. I plant a kiss on his cheek, then his forehead, and finally his lips.   He pulls back with a laugh. “Is that a yes, then?”

“No. That is not a yes.” I say at the same time at my dad. He has finally figured out that his little angel is about to be engaged. Ryan gets a scared, shocked look on his face. I can only smile.

“That’s not a yes, my love.” I kiss him one more time, this time softer and longer until the world is once again at peace with itself. “But an absolutely.”