Just Believe

Count how many times you considered falling along the way --- and surprisingly, you must be glad.

During the days when the sky is blue,

Your heart falls and then cracks into two ---

What does living really mean to you,

If in what you do, there’s nothing new?

 

Everything is ---

A little too bland,

A little too dark,

A little too tough,

A little too sad,

A little too rough,

A little too stark,

Things just go offhand!

 

When your soul falters steeping in fear,

Your world breaks down that you shed a tear ---

Keep going and let your spirit sear,

Hurdles are harder when the goal is near.

 

Life with happiness is not a dream,

And it’s never hard as it may seem ---

What you truly need is self-esteem,

Believe you can swim along the stream.

 

During the days when the sun is bright,

Your heart smiles and receives the light ---

You may never know a storm in sight,

But now you’re calm, you show no fright.

Reviews

[songstress]

This poem is rather charming. the way you have nearly all stanza with a verse that ends in rhyme keeps my interest in it.Particularly, I like how you separate the first stanza from the third with the "everything is-- " line. The message is nice in what you have to say. The only changes that I would suggest would be that on fluidity. In a couple of places you have words that interrupt the flow that is set in your rhyming. this could be seen in the following: "Your heart falls and then cracks into two...Your world breaks down that you shed a tear." I think if you change the word into to the word in, and rework the wording of the second line it would flow better. Regardless, this was a wonderful piece to read.

[Endeavor]

I am glad for the uplifting words and the useful advice. I'll keep those in mind. Thank you!

[songstress]

I'm sorry for the late reply, but I wish to thank you for sharing such a nice piece. I really did enjoy the break between the first and third stanza, and I hope that by seeing your writing style, to incorporate that aspect into my writing later on. It was a good learning experience, and I thank you for such a fine piece.

[Rashmi]

Really appreciate it

[RockStep]

I think Songstress put it well- this poem is charming. Reminds me a little of the Shel Silverstein books I read as a child- a bit of an edge, but still sweet.

[Endeavor]

Thank you! :)

[Sibusiso Xtdo Gama]

Hurdles are harder when the goal is near.

[Endeavor]

Thank you for reading it. :)