Insane

We are not afraid of our own shadows

I am not alone tonight, 
Even no one but me in sight; 
I have everyone’s shadows, 
Humming odes of distant gallows. 

I am not alone tonight, 
With my mind working but right; 
I can’t stop crying, laughing, 
Watching the rain makes me sing. 

I am not alone tonight, 
Locked in this cell, I’m alright; 
As thunder roars, their voices ring, 
The ghosts, yes, I hear them calling. 

I am not alone tonight, 
With my friends, I feel no fright; 
Freedom like this is but bane, 
Through the mind of the insane. 

Author's Note

I first published this in writers-network (03/31/14)

Reviews

[C. Rose]

The kind of piece that you automatically start reading out loud. I loved the strong structure of the repeated first line and the flawless punctuation (in most poetry reviews I question the punctuation).

Here is where I attempt to be constructive, although with poetry everything is the author's choice in the end.
“Even no one but me in sight;” Doesn't quite work (in my opinion). I get that the line is saying the speaker does not see anyone around them. I know “Even though no one but me is in sight” is too long, but what about “No one but me in sight;”?
My favorite lines are “I have everyone's shadows,” and “The ghosts, yes, I hear them calling.”
Lines I didn't understand are “With my mind working but right;” and “Freedom like this is but bane,”. What do you mean by but right? Like 'your mind isn't working right'?. Where did freedom come from? So far the concepts I have noticed at captivity, the sense of the previous captives presence, and maybe a maniacal trepidation at the upcoming execution. But I didn't see anything building to freedom. When you say “Freedom like this” oughtn't you have already been describing and building up freedom? Unless I am confused and you have been.
You do have the line “Watching the rain makes me sing” which I also thought was out of place, but perhaps that is the Freedom link?
“I can't stop crying, laughing,” gave me the maniacal trepidation concept, and so to have that line end with singing (hope) did not make sense to me.
Well done. While I did not relate to the piece, I did sense a well developed mania of part accepting fate part freaking out about it part crazy.

I reviewed your work because I noticed you gave a helpful review to a member of my group Constructive Critics. It is an open group committed to constructive reviews over complimentary reviews. While the group was originally intended for stories, the vast majority submit poems. I believe you would do well in our group and it would be beneficial to have someone who can give constructive reviews to poems (which personally I believe is harder than giving a constructive review to stories).

[Endeavor]

Thank you very much for reading and providing my work a constructive review. I still have a lot of issues regarding my conceptualization and style development in poem writing, and I believe I really need more practice. I am glad I was able to help. I look forward for more productive work in the group, both in writing and reviewing.