What's Lost and What's Gained

He's leaving, not leaving as in breaking up with me, I mean as in...I may never see him agian.....Mis Amore....

14 days,

I can hear that fat f**k chime on the intercom.

He makes me angry,

I feel red when he reminds me,

The seniors are leaving.

I already know that,

No need to point out the obvious.

No need to make me cry again,

My love,

Mis Amore,

As I always call him when I text him to wake him.

He's Leaving,

Leaving away to where he calls home.

New Jersey,

I feel it as I think about it,

That one stinging tear.

It creeps down my cheek,

And I'm left to oppress it all.

I shut myself away,

But only when I feel this way,

Like death,

Like burning,

Nothing is gained here.

Nothing but a slow ache that begins in my chest,

It's eating; it has been for so long.

He tries,

He holds me,

He kisses me,

He loves me unlike any other.

And what happens now?

In 14 days,

I loose the bet,

The bet with myself,

The bet that he was perfect.

What's lost is everything.

My life goes first,

In times like this,

It feels like the least important thing.

What's gained.....

Pain.

Anguish.

Destruction.

Death.

Nothing.

And yet Everything.

Here I sit,

As pathetic as I could be,

Crying my eyes out,

Waiting for daylight.

Needing  a slice,

A little blood to calm me down,

My arm to draw red,

My throat to close from sobbing,

My earphones to pulse something touching.

To lay in the dark,

To never see light,

That is what I have lost,

And Also,

What I have Gained...

Reviews

[Deactivated_BurningDemo..]

this is exactly how I'm feeling right now.
This is a really well written poem and it speaks the truth.