Fired

A sequel in spirit to my other comedy, "Ridiculous"

            “I’m not doing it.”

            “You’re totally gonna do it.”

            “No. I don’t want to.”

            “Why not? It’ll be hilarious.”

            “I’ll get fired.”

            “No one’s gonna fire you.”

            “Why won’t you do it?”

            “I’ll get fired.”

            A pause.

            “You just handed in your two week notice.”

            “And you haven’t had a date in two months, but I hardly see how these facts are relevant to our discussion.”

            A sigh.

            “I’m just saying, if you’re quitting anyways, what does it matter if you’re fired?”

            “I won’t be fired.”

            “You said you’d be fired.”

            “Why would I get fired for something you’re going to do?”

            “I’m not doing it.”

            “You’re totally gonna do it.”

            “Haven’t we been here before?”

            “Of course we have, this is where we work.”

            “No I meant… never mind.”

            “I’m just saying.”

            “I know what you’re saying.”

            A deep breath.

            “Alright, I’ll do it.”

            “I knew you would.”

            “What do I have to do again?”

            “I thought you knew.”

            “Nope.”

            “Huh. Well, maybe you already did it then.”

            “What was it?”

            “How should I know. You’re the one that did it. How did you do it, anyways?”

            “Bungee cords.”

            “Brilliant!”

            “Yeah, tape just wasn’t cutting it.”

            “Why not?”

            “The scissors weren’t cutting it.”

            “That’s some strong tape.”

            “I know. It should have been perfect.”

            A third voice.

            “Why is my computer monitor hanging from the ceiling?”

            The first voice.

            “Why didn’t we think of that?”

            “I don’t know. How would we do it?”

            “Bungee cords.”

            “Brilliant! Why didn’t we think of that?”

            “I did.”

            “Then you should have done it.”

            “I did.”

            “You’ll be fired.”

            “I won’t be fired.”

            A fourth voice.

            “You’re fired.”

            “Why am I fired?”

            “Why did you hang the monitor from the ceiling with bungee cords?”

            “Tape wasn’t working.”

            “That’s stupid.”

            The second voice.

            “That’s brilliant.”

            “You’re fired too.”

            “Why am I fired?”

            “Assisting the enemy.”

            “Who’s the enemy?”

            “The man standing next to you.”

            “With all due respect sir, I’ve been very careful to never assist you with anything.”

            “Does that include the bungee cord fiasco?”

            “The bungee cord fiasco is the most I’ve never assisted in my life, sir.”

            “Then you’re not fired.”

            Turns to the first.

            “You’re still fired.”

            The second voice.

            “I told you you’d get fired.”

Author's Note

Just for fun. Keeps the creativity flowing.

Reviews

[A.J.]

I respect this piece. Nice dialogue, very short. Nothing amazing, just good and respectful.