I Need You Like Water In My Lungs

Title taken from the song 'Play Crack the Sky' by Brand New.

The ocean is wide and vast,

Like the fragile skin that stretches across your crooked teeth.

What you lack in spine you make up in loud words and careful craft,

I gather my guts and begin to fall apart like the cracked flowers of a wreath.

Lay my aching body down in the shallows.

Let the waves carry me home to my watery grave.

Your love is as heavy as the cinder block tied to my feet,

Dragging me down and sinking me.

Becoming another half-buried and forgotten shipwreck,

Off the rocky shores of our softly bruised necks.

Breathe me and taste the salt lining my cold lips,

A lover’s demise eclipsed.

I’m starting to feel like quite the waste of a perfectly good set of bones,

You flooded my lungs with water and on my chest rested twelve stones,

And sat watching as my ribs gave out and my mouth never gave in to the words you so desperately wanted to hear.

Now I’m haunting your head and those tangled sheets in your bed.

A fleeting whisper waiting for someone to lend a ear,

Our weathered love and regrets linger as blemishes on our skin until we finally learn to disappear,

But I think we’ve already drowned in an ocean full of our deepest fears.

Author's Note

Greatly inspired by the song 'Play Crack the Sky' by Brand New. Please let me know your thoughts.

Reviews

[Bear]

Critique: (The ocean is wide and vast, Like the fragile skin that stretches across your crooked teeth) I don't understand the comparison of how the skin across his teeth is wide and vast?

Review: I like the melancholy feel as well as the rhyme scheme and water themed wording that kept it all in an aquatic state. Masterfully done my friend, five out of five Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[Michael Leon Wilson]

Love the vivid language and the story that you tell while rhyming

[Emily]

Nice write!
Keep on writing!!