Tongue Tied

Soft lines written so bold,

I lie awake underneath all the things I never told,

I try to sleep at night but I´m far too gone,

Off floating in someone else´s head,

Numbing myself away with no one in my bed,

Within all of me all I see is you,

So take me and bury me in your landfill,

Cover my lungs with dirt,

Paint my face with grime,

And leave me to rot in my disgrace,

I´m tired and I´m scared,

And I don´t know if I´ll come around again,

Cause my love is only a stain on all your sins,

Just another mistake that I´ll have to answer for,

But I know that I´ll always come back wanting more,

In the cold dark left waiting by your door, 

I still linger,

Suffocating beneath the waste I create,

I still think I can save,

That the world and you can change, 

Nameless guilt clinging to my frame,

I always wanted what I could never claim,

Tongue tied and young and naive,

But I just wanna believe,

In a heaven inside,

Where our youth can never die.

Author's Note

Sorry if it sucks.

Reviews

[alan peter kelly]

Youth is such a fleeting
intense and confusing time.
I used to dig my own trenches
thinking they
were gate way

to my grave
guessed

that there was nothing
burning deep inside

that could be saved
from the wreckage

of the flame
I thought

in blacks
and blues

and grey

and here
I am

now so close
to an end

quite content
to not go through

especially youth
again.


I enjoyed this poem. It touched a part of mind which sparked then took me back to how I felt when solitude did keep me safe...as it still does for me today. Your writing is fine. Nothing comes from nothing and having had a go makes what you do a win especially when compared to those who sit bloated glued to television eating ice cream, burgers, fries and Krispy Cremes...then complain wondering how they've put on so much weight. So long as you get up and do what creativity wants for you...you will not fail...you cannot possibly fail :) x

[lovelyAnaa]

My favorite one so far, really love your work

[dramamine]

Thank you so much :)

[Leon C]

I really nice piece of writing that highlights the problems of self expression.

I'm not a poet so I can't comment on structure and other technical things.

But as a reader I can say that I thought this was such a good piece of moving writing

[Bear]

Another page from the most complicated topic in life's book, love and relationships. Learning how others react to and deal with the many obstacles that get in the way can benefit all your readers. Well done my friend Clap! Clap! Clap!

[DaVoid]

Hey! Don't excuse yourself. Take pride and keep improving.

Strong emotional piece. I can feel pain, anger and hope in your writing.
Some interesting metaphors also.

"Cause my love is only a stain on all your sins," is a strange metaphor because sins are seen as stains often and it is as if you made a stain on a stain, what isn't really noticeable sometimes.

Nice piece overall. Keep it up.