Corrode

I am only here for now,

A needless craving building up,

Filling my lungs with toxin and waste,

A taste of bitterness stained on my tongue,

Spitting out my silence on everyone,

This feeling forever feeding my hate,

I am only alive in your decay, 

Bones whispering inside me,

Telling me to just give in,

A corroded body spread out before me,

Numbing my guilt and digging into my skin,

I want to find myself inside you,

I want to sever myself from you,

I want to hide myself for you,

Don´t put your trust in me,

There are parts of me you will never see,

I will only hurt you,

I can never save you,

I am just an empty shell,

Lock my head up inside a cell,

I am just a worthless fool,

Can never fix me with a rusted tool,

A self-loathing liar, caught in a daze of paralyzing bliss,

You never deserved for it to end like this,

I want what I need,

I need what I want...

Author's Note

I wrote this kind of quickly so sorry if it sucks, but anyway please let me know your thoughts, anything would be greatly appreciated.

Reviews

[Mr. Lopez]

No ,it doesn't suck. Although I think you could've done more with the end. I do this too,I'll write and rewrite and edit and repost..... It's a process. Otherwise it was interesting. Like you said, a quick write but with a little fine tuning it could be a powerful one.

[Emily]

'Filling my lungs with toxin and waste'

From some reason, I really like this line!
Keep it up!

[zaisham9393]

This was quite an interesting piece.Everyone feels this way at times.Well I have to confess sometimes I feel this way, maybe thats because I am done with pleasing people.I loved this .Thanks for sharing it with me.

[McBear]

Very deep and meaningful. There are many many things you could get from this due to the complexity and structure of this poem. Well done!

[Bear]

Wow, this is complex and very powerful, it is written in such a way that you can interpret the cause of the ailment so it could anything from depression to cancer. I really like dark poetry, not everything in life has a happy ending and this showcases that face. Bravo! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[AaronFreitas]

"Bones whispering inside me,
Telling me to just give in,
A corroded body spread out before me,
Numbing my guilt and digging into my skin,"
I love that stanza. Fast write or not it's an honest share of emotions... I enjoyed it my friend :)